


Always Have And Always Will

by knifelesbian



Series: A Dream That I Can Call My Own [3]
Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Family Bonding, Gen, Molly Hernandez is a Lesbian (you guys are just mean), Resurrection, abuse tw, death tw, guns tw, hahaha here it is, the gert dies fic, there's some alex/victor in here if you squint, use of memes in wrong situations, victor stein kicking the bucket subplot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 12:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14497071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knifelesbian/pseuds/knifelesbian
Summary: title is from Phoebe Bridgers song, Funeral. thanks for reading!





	Always Have And Always Will

At nineteen, Gert Yorkes is technically an adult now, but she still doesn't understand why this is necessary. Or why she even has to be here at all, really. Couldn't Alex do it? Or Nico, maybe. Anyone would be better at finally handling her parents will then her, and yet here she is, staring down at the documents and trying to figure out what the fuck she's supposed to do with them. _It's been a year, Gert, you have to deal with it sometime,_ Alex had told her, and yeah, he's right, but it doesn't mean she actually wants to listen to him.

 

"Hey, I'm going to check out that call-in we got earlier, wanna come with?" Chase says from the doorway, and she sighs in relief.

 

"Fuck yeah I do, where we going?" She shoves the manila folder back into the drawer and starts tugging on her coat as Chase's eyebrows go up.

 

"Apparently there was a break-in over in a town about an hour from here, and the lady who was robbed saw 'somethin' weird'," he puts on a small town accent, and she laughs, "so she called it in. It's great that we've covered so much ground on advertising." 'Advertising'- okay. Not the word she would use. All they do is run a 'private investigation company for absurd cases' out of the house they're renting, it's not that big of a deal. All five of them have regular jobs, this is just something they do on the side to really feel like they're helping people. L.A. Is a lot less protected from Weird Crimes now, which is an odd way to say it, but she's never really come up with anything better. The five of them + Molly when she's not busy being a sophomore in high school deal with the super-powered villains and criminals who now all of a sudden think it's fine and dandy to roam around L.A. doing whatever the fuck they want now that PRIDE is gone.

 

"We have a website and put up a few flyers, almost everything is just word of mouth." He screws his face up at her, and Gert presses a kiss to the tip of his nose.

 

She smoothes her hands over the lapels of his jacket and smiles up at him, and he pecks her on the lips. He reaches over and wraps his finger around a lock of her hair. "This is getting longer."

 

"I know, but I can't decide if I want to keep it this length or get it cut again. What do you think?"

 

"I think," he pecks her on the lips again, "that you'd look beautiful with a paper bag on your head, so maybe don't trust my opinion."

 

She laughs softly and leans up to kiss him, caressing his cheek with her hand. She doesn't know what it is, but these last few days they've been all over each other, way more than usual. Alex had to kick them out of the house yesterday to 'go for a walk' when he caught them making out on the couch 'like a pair of annoying ass newlyweds', which, okay Alex, thanks for putting that picture in her head. To be fair though, they had been under the impression that they had another half hour before anyone came home. Molly even had dance team practice yesterday.

 

She still doesn't know how they swung being able to legally be Molly's guardians, but it worked out alright, so she's not going to question it. She does somewhat credit Nico's staff, though.

 

"Hey, you guys ready to go?" Ah, speak of the devil and she shall appear. Nico stands awkwardly at the end of the hallway, coat clutched in her hand.

 

Nico has been a little...........off, lately, since Karolina left two weeks ago to deal with some extra-planetary affairs, and she promised she'd be back by the end of the month, but obviously Nico still misses her girlfriend like crazy. They all miss Karolina, but she suspects it's a bit different to have your girlfriend fly off into the sky with someone she was originally supposed to be _married_ to than it is to have your friend go on a weird work trip.

 

Jeez, is Gert glad the whole Xavin thing worked out. When they first Arrived On This Planet, they'd gone on a long tangent about them and Karolina being Destined and Meant To Be until Karolina had cut them off and told them that she was in a very loving relationship already, thanks. There'd been a long conversation between the two of them about arranged marriages and interplanetary disagreements and a place called Majesdane that Gert still really wants to see, and when they came out of it the two of them had the start of a friendship and a business deal. Now Karolina has to literally drop off the face of the earth every once in a while to go deal with stuff 'back home', and every time she does and Xavin's around a while before and after, Nico gets insanely jealous. Everyone really likes Xavin, including her, but she's told Gert that no matter how much she tells herself that Karolina would never cheat on her, there's still 'a son of a bitch idiot in the back of my head telling me I'm wrong'.

 

"Yeah, I think so. Just let us put on our shoes."

 

Gert tugs on her Docs as Chase pulls on his boots and they head out the door, Nico trailing behind them like a mopey goth ghost. The three of them stomp across the yard and head to the van. It's a different van then the one from when they were seventeen, but it's nearly the same model, just outfitted better and with comfier seating. It's one of the two cars they have, the other being Gert's old clunker, Roberta, which she bought used because she's not an animal. Alex uses it to drive himself to work at the tech repair shop in the mall, and Molly to school, and Gert, Chase and himself to night classes at Molly's high school (when it's happening. Spring break just started for the night class group, though Molly doesn't have hers for another two weeks, when theirs is over). Nico is 'fine without a diploma' for now, even though Gert has been slowly convincing her to start trying next year, and Karolina's gone too often to care much.

 

Chase gets in the drivers seat and pulls out of the garage as Gert texts Molly that they'll be back in a few hours. If she's guessing right, it's about last period for her, so she'll have to let herself in. She also reminds her to feed Old Lace, who’s been put on Stalk Molly duty until her little sister starts staying true to her promise that she’ll stop hanging out in The Pit at her school. They didn’t have a Pit at Atlas, no place to go smoke or vape/hang out with people who smoke or vape during the lunch break. Well, if they did, Gert never knew about it. The only reason Molly hangs out there is she’s got a crush on this girl who hangs out there a lot, which Gert sees as a reason to stop having a crush on her, but Molly disagrees. 

 

The drive isn’t that long, to be honest, and made shorter by one of Gert’s many well cultivated playlists. They pull up to a dusty farmhouse with a few chickens in the yard and a rocking chair still rocking back and forth on the porch. There’s no one outside.

 

They get out of the car cautiously, wrinkling their noses at the smell in the air. There’s a strong ‘dirty farm animal’ scent, plus something burning, maybe?

 

Nico twirls her staff like she does when she’s nervous. “I don’t like this.”

 

“You just don’t like mud on your clothes. Both of you need to buck up.” Gert directs the second part to her boyfriend, who’s staring down in disgust at the dirt on his boots.

 

She stomps through the mud up to the front door and knocks rapidly, Nico and Chase reluctantly following behind. After a second, the door creaks open, a plump old woman standing on the other side.

 

“Hello, dears, are you those investigators I called?” Her hands shake, and she smiles nervously. Weird.

 

“Yes, ma’am, that’s us!” Chase says cheerily. The others don’t seem to notice anything wrong, so maybe it’s just her.

 

The old woman invites them in, introducing herself as Patricia. She starts to ramble as she gets out cookies and lemonade, talking about the robbery. She still looks nervous.

 

“Yes, so I said to that man that I’d worked my whole life for this damn house and he should go pillage somewhere else, but then he yelled real loud and a few things around the room caught fire!” And sure enough, the couch pillows are charred, and one of the lamps is melted.

 

“Well, that sounds like your basic pyrokinetic if you ask me. What did he look like?” Gert pulls out her notebook and starts scribbling down the descriptors Patty is listing.

 

“Yes, he had brown hair and his eyes were……..blue. He was a few inches shorter than your boy there. Looked a bit like him too, in the jawline. Wore a suit, which I thought was a bit strange. He was very angry, and very loud. A good bit younger than me, maybe middle aged.” Patty twists her fingers around each other as she talks, and her eye twitches. 

 

“Gert, that sounds like………” Chase says worriedly, and Gert puts a hand on his arm. She’s not going to say it, but he’s reading too much into this. Chase tends to see his father everywhere, especially since even after the rest of the parents and Jonah have been defeated, no one really knows what happened to Victor Stein. It’s almost like he dropped off the face of the earth.

 

"I'm sure it's fine, Chase." She squeezes his arm, and he nods.

 

"Well, we'd like to look-" Nico gets interrupted by a crashing noise, coming from the barn in the backyard. The three of them look at each other in concern.

 

"Uh, Chase and I will go check that out, you stay here and keep asking her questions." It's always good to have one person stay behind, just in case. Nico screws her face up at her because she quote unquote 'hates old people', but nods anyways.

 

Her and Chase head out the back door, Chase's hand placed over the messenger bag where his Fistigons are hiding. There's another noise, and they walk faster, giving each other worried looks.

 

They reach to the door, and Gert takes a deep, steadying breath before pushing it open to- an empty barn?

 

They look at each other in confusion, then cautiously step inside. "Hello? Anybody home?" Nothing. Nada. Zip. Okay, what is going on?

 

And that's when a man with a gun pops out from behind a haystack.

 

"You're Chase Stein, right?" He gestures with the gun as he speaks, and Gert's hand curls around Chase's bicep as they both basically just hold their breath. This is not how she thought today was going to go.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase, because he's a dumbass, can't help but nod to answer the man's question. He's wearing a mask, which strikes him as a little cowardly. You're going to threaten another man's life but not show your face? Okay, sure.

 

"Fantastic, that makes my job a hell of a lot easier." It occurs to Chase that this man doesn't fit Patty's description at all. She looked nervous, did she know he was here? "Hey, kid? Your father says hello." _WAIT, WHAT?_

 

Before he can even process that, the man is pointing the gun right at Chase's chest and pulling the trigger before Chase can even think about moving. He squeezes his eyes shut as he hears the trigger being pulled and basically waits for death, but the bullet doesn't hit.

 

Well, he should say, the bullet doesn't hit _him_.

 

Gert jumps in front of him and catches the bullet right in the heart, falling to the ground with a choked scream.

 

"Ah, shit, stupid self sacrificing girlfriends. Ugh, okay-" He shoots again, and it knocks Chase out of the shock he's feeling. He pulls one of the Fistigons from his bag and doesn't even bother to put it on as he shoots a huge fireball at the man and watches him burn to a near crisp in only a few seconds.

 

He looks back down to Gert, sprawled on the ground and bleeding out, and he drops to his knees, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

"You saved my life," he says, running a shaking hand over her hair. She smiles a little, and her mouth is red with blood.

 

"Yeah, I guess I," she pauses as she starts hacking up blood, then tries to wipe her mouth as she says, "I guess I did." She reaches up with a bloodied hand and presses it into his cheek. "Hey, it's okay, don't.........don't cry."

 

"How am I supposed to not cry? You're _dying_ , how-"

 

"Shhh, shh. Don't think of it as me dying, just think of it as me.........going away for awhile. We'll see each other again." Her voice is soft, and her hand falls from his cheek, but Chase catches it in his own.

 

"How do you know for sure?"

 

"Don't you remember, love? We're _destined_." She coughs again, and blood starts to seep out of her mouth. "Smile for me, okay? I just.............I want to see it......one last time." He smiles sadly, because she asked him to, and there's no way he'd ever be able to say no to her. If Gert lives right now, he'll agree with everything she says for the rest of their lives.

 

But it's too late. Gert smiles back, one last time, the light already leaving her eyes as she lets out one last shaky breath.

 

And that's when Chase starts screaming.

 

~~~~~

 

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Gert has seen it, read it, heard about it, but she never really thought it was true.

 

She was wrong.

 

Gert sees the early moments first, all in perfect clarity. Her mother holding her in her arms and singing a Spanish lullaby, her face calm and loving, Gert's tiny hand reaching up to tug at a curl. Walking with her mother in a park somewhere, Gert running as fast as her little legs could carry her and tugging her along. She'd forgotten what her mother's laugh sounded like.

 

She sees the accident, and then everything that follows it- the funeral, meeting Dale and Stacey, moving in with them, meeting all her friends for the first time. Chase throwing that mud-ball in her face as a way to say hello. She sees her first day of kindergarten, holding tight to her mom's leg because she really, really didn't want to go in. But Chase and Nico had each taken one of her hands and walked her inside, distracting her until they were walking into the classroom.

 

Gert sees the Hernandez's funeral, then Molly moving in not a day later. She sees the two of them almost immediately start to treat each other like real sisters, sees herself defending Molly from mean kids on the playground, sees Molly give her a long hug, sees an entire two years of sisterhood in an instant. She sees her first kiss with Chase, in his backyard on a Sunday. He tasted like orange juice. She wonders how she forgot that.

 

She sees their first day of middle school, sees three years worth of school dances, awkward crushes, braces, acne, and unbreakable friendship play out in fast-forward. She sees Amy's death, the funeral, sees all six of them split off from each other and aches at how unnecessary it was. Those two years fly by in a high speed car chase of loneliness and anxiety, and it brings her all the way up to the night they discovered the truth about their parents.

 

She sees the six of them become friends again through necessity, sees meeting Old Lace for the first time, sees them scheming, sees them running away. She sees her and Chase get together in quality so high-def that she can see every individual star in the sky. She sees Molly finding the Hostel, she sees a few months of waiting and planning and plotting, and then finally it comes along. The night her parents died.

 

There's a lot of yelling, and use of extra-terrestrial powers/Fistigons/super-strength/etc, and then a big explosion that ends in all the parents save Victor Stein and his ongoing disappearing act kicking the bucket. Even Jonah doesn't survive. It was horrifying to watch then and it's horrifying now, so she's glad when the scene changes to the days after, though those were miserable all on their own. Crying, almost getting split up until they begged and begged the Avengers to just leave them be, Gert still isn't sure how that worked out, more crying, consoling Molly, healing, moving into a new house, more healing, meeting Victor, dealing with Victor's cyborg related Issues, Victor moving in, Victor moving out to go to university.

 

She sees herself and Chase building the start of a life together, endless dates and kisses and relearning again and again how to be together. And a _lot_ of sex, Jesus Christ. She sees countless missions, countless days where she didn't really see it as a day that mattered, but now she realizes. _All of it_ matters. And now, as she watches her life precariously race to the end, she hates herself for not cherishing every moment, every second of every day. She wishes she appreciated life more while she had it, wishes she stopped and smelled the fucking roses, wishes she told everyone- but _especially_ Chase- that she loved them every single goddamn day. As she sees today play out again, she closes her eyes. She doesn't want to watch herself die.

 

Gert wakes up in a stark white room.

 

Her vision's blurry, but as it comes into focus and she looks around, she sees a figure in blue robes standing with their back to her and looking at a huge colour inverted map of the stars.

 

"Where am I?" she blinks hard, one, two, three times. It's so bright here. The figure turns around, surprised, and.............. "Amy?"

 

"Oh my stars. Gert, what are you _doing_ here? You're supposed to live well into your eighties!" Her hood falls back, and woah, Amy looks a lot different from the last time Gert saw her. When was that, again? She looks older, somehow, but younger too. Her skin shimmers, and her hair is woven with silver chains.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Her face falls. "Oh, Gert, honey. You're dead."

 

 _"WHAT?_ No, I'm not." She can't be dead. She's still here, isn't she? And she, like, just saw Chase. Wait, where did she see Chase, again? And where _is_ she?

 

"Well, not yet, I suppose. Your heart's stopped, and everything, but your soul's still wiggling around in there. You must have a lot to hold onto on the other side." Amy glides over to her, and that's what it is, gliding, she's floating, just a little; and leans down to help her stand. "So how's everyone? I keep an eye, but it's hard to get details."

 

"Huh?" She stands, dusting herself off. Woah, why are her hands translucent? She inspects them, fascinated.

 

"You know, everyone. The boyfriend, the little sister, _my_ little sister, how's Nico?" Wait, Nico? She knows who that is, right? Nico...........it sounds so familiar, but she just can't..............

 

"Who?"

 

Amy's eyes go wide. "Oh, no, you're fading already. You know what? Screw it. You're not supposed to die yet. I got taken from my life unfairly, so I'm giving you back yours."

 

"Ames, what the fuck are you talking about?"

 

Amy sighs, and drags her over to the map. She points at a flickering star in the left corner. "See that? That's you. Your soul hasn't transferred to the other side yet. It's why you're here, with a dead loved one, and not going through processing. I don't know why it's being so slow, probably Chase holding on too tight. Thank him for that, when you go back."

 

"Wait, get back? Am I............."

 

Amy takes her hand and looks into her eyes. Amy's eyes used to be dark brown, but now they're a glimmer to them, almost golden. "Do me a favour, okay?"

 

"Anything."

 

Amy leans in and presses a kiss to her forehead. "Give that to my little sister, and tell her I say hi. Goodbye, Gert. I hope I don't see you for a long while."

 

Gert looks down at her hands again, and she watches overly calmly as they start to disintegrate into sparkly sand. First her hands, then her arms, then the rest of her body, and the last thing she sees is Amy smiling at her serenely. Then everything fades.

 

When she opens her eyes, she's not even sure they're actually _her_ eyes. And who is she, again? All she can see is beautiful, swirling colours, red and blue and pink and colours she can't even name, swirling and imploding in on each other like a giant universe, just for her. It hurts to look at, so she closes her eyes.

 

And then she wakes up.

 

~~~~~

 

Nico hates this.

 

They've been sitting here for what feels like hours, though really, she doesn't know how long it's been. She's cried herself out, at this point, and is just sitting next to Chase, completely numb, but he's still talking to Gert like she's still here, telling her that she can't go, that's she's not allowed, that he loves her. Nico doesn't have the heart to tell him that Gert has gone where she can't hear him.

 

She closes her eyes, and is just steeling herself to ask him what they're going to do now when she hears a gasp.

 

"Gert?! You're-"

 

"Nico, Nico, where's Nico?" Gert- alive and breathing, what the fuck?- doesn't seem to notice the blood soaking her shirt as she sits up, wincing. She spots Nico, and she scoots over, blood-stained hands reaching out to grip her t-shirt.

 

"Amy told me to give you this," Gert says, smacking a kiss to her forehead. Nico is too shocked to respond.

 

Gert shivers and falls back into Chase's lap, looking up at him and saying softly, "Hey, baby," before knocking out again, snoring heavily.

 

Chase looks down at her in disbelief, then turns to Nico, wide-eyed. "She's _alive!_ Gert is alive!"

 

~~~~~

 

Chase pushes up her shirt gently to see the wound, and watches in shock as the bullet pushes itself out of her skin and blood gets sucked back into the hole as it closes rapidly until it's not a wound at all, just a puckered bit of irritated skin in the middle of her chest about the size of his closed fist, and it's already starting to scar. He ghosts his fingers over it, laughing a little in joy as he feels her chest rising and falling. She's _alive._

 

"We should- we should go. Take her home and get her to a medic, maybe. What about that friend of Victor's?" His voice is probably too happy, but he doesn't care. _She's alive she's alive she's alive she's alive-_

 

"Sounds like a good idea. You carry her to the car, I'll drive." Chase picks her up, and she shifts to get comfortable in his arms. He just cannot stop smiling.

 

They get in the car, and Nico starts driving, maybe a little too fast, but they both want to get Gert to a doctor as soon as possible. His girlfriend lays across his lap, still snoring, and he places his hand on her stomach, feeling it rise and fall.

 

"By the way," Nico says from the front seat, voice carefully level, "it wasn't that woman's fault. Our guy said he'd kill her if she didn't call us and do whatever she could to get you away and on your own. Broseph reeeally wanted you dead and buried. She only told me anything because I heard that gunshot and started fucking screaming."

 

"Yeah, uh, I think that guy was hired. Mentioned something about my dad 'saying hi', before..................." He looks down at Gert again, just to make sure she's still okay, even though he can still feel her breathing.

 

"Oh, shit, really? We should..........." Nico keeps talking, but Chase ends up tuning her out as he watches Gert. He still can't believe she's alive.

 

He also can't believe she saved his life. That's some next level dedication shit right there. He's never bothering Gert about her commitment issues again.

 

Okay, that was harsh. Gert doesn't have commitment issues. It's just that every time he even makes an attempt at talking about marriage she nopes it the fuck out of there before he can even get the words out. He can only remember like, one time when they were seventeen, but it was a one off comment.

 

He really does want to marry her. And now he actually has a chance to.

 

He walks through the door carrying a bloodstained sleeping Gert and it's..........not great. The house is full, the rest of their family congregated in the living room. Even Victor is here, sitting next to his nurse friend that he called when Nico asked him to over the phone on the way home.

 

Molly sees them first and drops what she's holding, rushing to them with a "What the fuck happened? Is she dead? Oh, god, please tell me she isn't dead-"

 

"She's not. Well, she was. But she came back, somehow? We don't know the method of which she got sent back but she's here. She's alive. So can we get her to a medic, please?"

 

Victor's friend, Penelope, ushers him over, and he carefully lays Gert down on the couch. He and Molly crouch at the other end, her leaning against him and watching worriedly as Penelope very carefully checks Gert out for anything and everything she can think of, then says, "Somehow...........she seems fine. Other than that scar, it's almost a completely clean bill of health. I think she just needs some rest. Well, not some. A lot. She needs a lot of rest. Wait, you said this girl died? How does that just happen?" This is directed at Victor, who shrugs.

 

"Um, it just did. A lot of weird stuff happens to these people, Pen," everyone in the room gives him a look, and he does that weird thing where the words he wants to say project into the air before him, saying in Helvetica _she's a family friend and doesn't know I'm a fucking android, leave me alone_ , which is fair, to be honest.

 

"Yeah, I got that from the freaking dinosaur in the kitchen, and yes, I promise not to tell anyone. Really Victor, who are these people?" Somehow, though, the words don't come out unkindly.

 

Victor looks around at all of them. "Friends," he says fondly, then corrects himself. "No, family."

 

Penelope smiles softly, then says, "Well, it seems your girl is mostly fine, though I would like to continue to check in until she wakes up and then after for a little while. And you're sure she can't go to the hospital?"

 

"We really don't...........I really don't know how this happened. She was........she was gone for like _two hours."_ His voice goes raggedy, and Molly starts rubbing her hand up and down his back to comfort him, even though she herself is crying. "Pulse stopped, no breathing, nothing, and then she just _woke up._ And I really don't want my girlfriend getting sent off to a lab somewhere, so-"

 

"Okay, kiddo. I'm sorry, I'm obviously not fully in the know about this situation," she shoots Victor a look, and suddenly he's looking anywhere but at her, "but I'll do what I can to make sure she has a safe recovery."

 

Chase sniffles. "Thanks."

 

"No problem, dear. And if it's not me it'll be someone-" she waves her hands around wildly as she searches for the right words, "associated with me, like my daughter and her girlfriend, or my son. Also, if a little old Cuban woman comes knocking on your door with a basket in her hands, don't answer unless you enjoy excessive babying." She's clearly joking, and Chase smiles.

 

"Our parents all kind of kicked the bucket about a year ago, so a little babying is pretty good with me," Molly elbows him, and he says, "whoops. Sorry. I can be a little........grim, sometimes."

 

Penelope's eyes go soft. "It's okay, kid. I understand." Her eyes light up like she's getting an idea, and she says, "You know what? I'm going to make you guys supper. Beanpole over there looks like he hasn't eaten anything but Cheetos and Red Hots since 2009." Alex makes an affronted noise, and Nico cracks up. "Nuh-uh, Wicked Witch Of The West, you are not much better. You, and you, come with me," she says, pointing at Victor and Molly. Molly gives Gert one last look before following after her to the kitchen, but Victor lags behind for a second.

 

"You sure you're gonna be okay, man?" He says, putting a hand on Chase's shoulder.

 

"She's alive. That's what's important."

 

"That's not what I asked, though."

 

Chase looks up at him and nods, and Victor squeezes his shoulder, then heads out to the kitchen.

 

"I can't believe you're dating Danny Phantom," Alex says, and Nico elbows him. "Sorry. That was a dumb thing to say. I'm just a little in shock, I guess. How you feeling?"

 

Chase sighs and stands, only to move a few feet to Gert's side and drop to his knees again, wrapping his hand around her wrist to check her pulse. "She died in my arms," he says quietly.

 

"Oh, dude," Alex says, dropping down next to him and wrapping an arm around him. Nico sits cross-legged on his other side, and they all lean into each other. Tears start to slip down his cheeks, again, and Alex says, "She's here, Chase. She's alive."

 

"Yeah, but she wouldn't even have died in the first place if she hadn't caught the fucking bullet for me," Nico gasps.

 

 _"That's_ what happened? Oh, Chase, buddy. That wasn't your fault. And don't you dare say it should've been you, because I know that's what you're thinking." She's right, that is what he's thinking, because it really should've been him, but he won't say anything about that right now so he doesn't get yelled at. Nico's a yeller, it's just her nature, and Chase hates, hates, hates getting yelled at. Or even being around that kind of yelling, to be honest. The few and far between times her and Karolina have gotten into fights he's had to leave the house for a bit.

 

"Yeah, you're right." _It is my fault. But I won't say anything today for your sake._

 

~~~~~

 

Gert dreams of Chase’s fourteenth birthday. Odd, isn’t it, that that’s what her brain focuses on.

 

She knows it’s a dream from the way it’s fuzzy around the edges, and some parts of the day skip to get to the good stuff.

 

And the good stuff is this: her and Chase sneaking off to stargaze on his roof near the end of his party. Nearly everyone else had gone home, and Chase tugged her by the hand up to the roof, saying he had something to show her.

 

They sat down, and Chase started to hook up the telescope.

 

“So, according to the calendar, Venus is supposed to be really viewable tonight, and, like, I know you’re into all this astronomy stuff, so-“

 

“You say, as if you didn’t drag me to the planetarium last weekend.” They sat close together, so close she could feel the heat coming off of him.

 

“Okay, that’s fair. I just, um, I wanted to show you this. And I couldn’t up with a non-embarrassing reason, so………” 

 

Gert put a hand on his arm and leaned in. “Why would that be embarrassing?” 

 

Chase blushed bright red and mumbled, “I dunno.”

 

“Hmm, okay………let’s see the sister planet then, shall we?”

 

He laughed a little. “‘Sister planet’. You’re so weird.”

 

Gert was a little hurt. “Wow, thanks.”

 

Chase rushed to backtrack, saying frantically as he grabbed her hand, “No, weird is good! I like weird!”

 

She looked down at their entwined hands and felt her face get really hot, but Chase didn’t let go.

 

“You do?” It struck her again how close they are. Their noses brushed against each other, and her lips quirked up.

 

“Yeah, Gert………….I like it a lot, actually.” His voice was softer than a baby blanket, and so tender it made her heart ache.

 

She closed the distance between them and pressed her mouth against his, and for a second he did nothing, which made Gert pull back, but he seemed to come to his senses and kissed her instead. It was, objectively, not a very good kiss. It was kind of messy, and Gert didn’t really know what to do with her hands, but she thought it was perfect.

 

Gert pulled back first, and Chase chased (ha) her lips until he realized what she was doing. 

 

“So,” Gert said, pulling away fully and wiping at her mouth. “Venus?”

 

“Right. Venus.”

 

That’s where the dream cuts off, dissolving into a swirl of colourful sand, and Gert turns from memory to shadow.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase is still asleep, which means Molly has a window to spend some alone time with her sister. He'd been sitting in that goddamn armchair since she carried her sister to the guest room yesterday. Speaking of yesterday, that had certainly been an event, hadn't it, getting home from school to a missed call from Nico telling her that _something bad happened to Gert would you tell Alex to come home please okay I'm driving talk later_. It was probably the most terrifying voicemail she's ever received in her life, and she once got a voicemail from a number with no caller ID (it was Mateo. She was very pissed with him when she figured it out.) in the 'Bill Skarsgard as IT' voice, which scared the crap out of her because that movie freaked her out, okay! Sophia Lillis being beautiful was NOT worth it. Well. It was a little worth it. And Finn What's His Name from Stranger Things was funny.

 

Back on track, now. She does that sometimes, lets her brain go on tangent after tangent, which gets her in trouble at school because she'll be in the middle of writing an essay and halfway through start talking about something completely different.

 

That happened yesterday, actually. And she'd been so eager to tell Gert about it, too, because she knew her sister would have a good laugh over it. And then she got home, and she saw that voicemail, and...............

 

Molly sits on the side of Gert's bed, and just looking at her feels wrong. Her sister has not once ever looked this peaceful.

 

She puts her hand over hers and says, "Hey, Gert." She pauses for a second, almost waiting for a response until she realizes that she won't get one. "Um, I.......I'm scared. For you. You've always been, like, unstoppable, and then you go and do this? The one thing that can stop you? Jeez, it's like you _want_ to-" _leave me here alone_.

 

And she knows that's not fair. She has a family, she wouldn't suddenly become homeless and isolated just because Gert............went away. But would there even be a point to carrying on without her sister? Her best friend?

 

She swallows down a sob as she runs a careful hand over Gert's hair, smoothing down a cowlick. "I thought you said you weren't going to leave me- what happened to that? Did that just go out the window yesterday? And it’s worse because no one will tell me what happened. Just that you died…..and then you came back. Nothing else.” She sighs. “You wouldn’t keep this stuff from me. Or maybe you would, I don’t know. I just hope you wake up so you can actually make that decision.” Oh, that was a bad thing to say. Tears start rolling down her face as she thinks, _what if Gert never wakes up?_

 

Okay, Molly can’t stay here anymore. She has to go do something else, or her whole day is going to be spent grieving, and she _knows_ what Gert would say to that- _don’t waste time crying, Molls. Be better than the tears._

 

So she stands up and reluctantly leaves, keeping her eyes on Gert all the way out. She’ll come back to check on her when she feels like she won’t burst into tears at the sight of her.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase has been sitting in this armchair for about six hours now. Gert is lying on the bed, still conked out even though it’s been a full day, and Chase has been sitting here since he woke up this morning and made his way to the guest room where Gert is set up. He’s got some homework from night class with him, but he’s barely touched it in favour of fiddling with Gert’s hand in his, and just talking to her about practically anything. Two hours ago he read out their grocery list. Old Lace lies on the foot of the bed, curled up in a sulking pile of dinosaur.

 

“Hey, lunch is ready,” Molly says as she walks through the door. They let her stay home today, obviously, stating a family emergency as the reason of absence. Nico and Alex had to go to work, unfortunately. Neither of them could get the day off.

 

“Thanks, Molls, what’d you make?”

 

“Oh, you know, just Croque Monsieurs with homemade French fries. Nothing much, really. How is she?” She makes her way to the other side of the bed and starts fluffing out Gert’s pillows and smoothing her blankets.

 

“Same as when you asked twenty minutes ago.” She gives him a look. “Come on, lets go eat. I’m starving.”

 

“You’re a teenage boy, you’re always starving.”

 

They eat, and Chase returns to his perch in the armchair, watching her. If she was awake right now, Gert would probably chew him out for this. _Are you Edward Cullen?_ she’d say. _Do you sparkle in the sunshine?_

 

He waits another two hours, Molly in and out of the room every twenty minutes. She’s got homework to work on, and he suspects that being in the room with her constantly stresses her out too much.

 

He hears the front door open and close, and assumes it’s Nico. Well, he does until he hears Molly yelling.

 

He rushes out the door to the porch, and sees Molly holding a teenage boy about her age up in the air. 

 

“Now, I’m gonna ask you again-“

 

“Molly! Put the poor kid down, that’s Penelope’s son. Remember? I told you she told me he was dropping off a few things? Ring a bell, Bruiser?”

 

She puts the boy down carefully and screws her face up at Chase. “I told you not to call me that.”

 

The boy dusts himself off and says, “Hi. I’m Alex. What the heck is going on? Is that a dinosaur? And how are you so freaking strong?” He gestures dramatically at Molly, and she shrugs.

 

“I work out a lot.”

 

“Your eyes are _glowing._ ”

 

“Coloured contacts?”

 

Alex clearly doesn’t believe her from the way he rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t question further. “Okay, but the _dinosaur.”_

 

 _“That_ is a very long story, and I was told you have baseball after this, so maybe another time. You need help with that?” Chase gestures at the bags of supplies, but Alex shakes his head.

 

“Nah, I got it. I’m pretty strong, too,” this is directed at Molly with a flirty smile, and she snorts.

 

“And I’m gay. Nice try, though.” Chase chokes on a laugh, and she looks to him, amused.

 

Alex sighs good-naturedly and says, "Sounds about right."

 

"What, you hit on lesbians a lot?" Molly takes the bags from him, and the three of them walk down the hallway to the guest room where Gert is shacked up.

 

"Well, my sister's gay, ergo all her friends are gay, but I never know that, so when she brings new people to the apartment I'm always like ''Sup, girl?'" he does finger guns and smiles charmingly, "But I always get told to buzz off. Ugh, I really need to get out more, why are half my interactions with girls my sister's friends?"

 

"Dude, almost all my interactions in general are with my sister's friends. They're literally my legal guardians."

 

"No, that's technically just me and Gert." Now, _that_ had been an ordeal. He still wonders whether or not Nico's staff had a hand in that happening.

 

"But they're only like two years older than you!"

 

"Three, actually, but thank you for thinking I look so young," he gestures to wrinkles that are clearly not apparent on his nineteen year old face, and Molly shoves him.

 

"Oh, yes, of course, you are so old- Gert!"

 

Gert is still asleep, that's clear, but it's also clear that she's having a fucking seizure, and glowing, just a little? At least, the veins in her arms and up her neck are.

 

~~~~~

 

Gert- or at least, her shadow- rests at the edge of a void of colourful sand, falling down, down, down into oblivion. It's beautiful, but terrifying, the most terrifying thing she's ever seen in her life. She can almost here a voice, sinister but soothing, beckoning her to drift down into the void and shake it's hand. And it's tempting, so tempting. Gert has always been a curious person, and the voice is so convincing.

 

But then she hears it. Someone is calling her name. And she hears the worry and fear and decides that that person is ten times more important than some dark _thing_ trying to trick her.

 

She turns away and floats off in another direction, colourful sand brushing against her shadow as the void tries to get her to return. But she doesn't listen.

 

There is someone more important calling for her.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase and Molly rush over to the bed, frantically calling her name and Trying Their Best to see what the fuck is happening.

 

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, come on, please be okay, Gert, you can't leave me again, no, no, come on," he's rambling under his breath, and he can hear Molly saying the same type of stuff from the other side of the bed.

 

And then Gert stops shaking, falling back onto the bed with a relieved sigh, and all Chase can say is, "Oh, thank God."

 

Molly makes her way around the bed and comes in for a hug. He wraps his arms around her and smoothes a comforting hand over her hair.

 

"What, pray tell, was that? What is it with you people and the _glowing?"_  Alex is bent over, hands on his knees and practically dry-heaving. His eyes are wide as saucers. "Did that girl almost die just then!?"

 

Molly separates from him, and Chase goes to sit on the edge of the bed and curls his hand around Gert's wrist, checking her pulse. It's steady. "Well, she's quite literally recovering from death, so maybe. But let's hope not, okay?"

 

Alex stands and crosses his chest quickly, looking up to, presumably, the heavens. "Yeah, let's hope not. So, um, you need my help setting everything up?"

 

"That'd be great, thanks."

 

Alex helps them put everything in it's place, and then he sets off, promising his mother would return the next day with an IV, which, yeah, that'd probably be helpful.

 

He flops back down onto the armchair, and doesn't move for so long that he ends up falling asleep. He only wakes up again the next morning, to Molly shaking his shoulder and telling him she has to go to school.

 

"Keep an eye on her for me, okay? And try and get something done today." She wraps her arms around his shoulders from behind, and drops her chin to his shoulder.

 

"Yeah, I'll try. You sure you're good to go into school today?" He really thinks she should just stay home, but Molly had been adamant.

 

"Yes, Chase. I'm in semesterized math _and_ science, remember? I already missed one day, and Mateo told me there was a _pop quiz._ I miss another day and I'm screwed, and you know Gert would be saying the same thing." Oh, that's how she's getting through it, by telling herself this is what Gert would want her to do. And she's probably right, honestly, but somebody has to be here watching over her, and Chase is the best choice. He's never going to let anything bad happen to Gert ever again.

 

"Okay, then. Do I need to send OL with you or can I trust you not to seek out that lung cancer prospect you're into?" Old Lace raises her head from where she's curled up at the foot of the bed, and Chase absentmindedly starts scratching under her chin.

 

Molly flicks him on the shoulder, than stands. "I keep telling you she doesn't smoke, she just hangs out with people who do, and yes, I won't seek her out today. If I can, I'm gonna try and come home for lunch to check in."

 

"That's smart. Have a good day at school, kiddo," she ruffles his hair, which, rude, and heads out the door. He hears the front door slam a few minutes later.

 

He makes his way to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and splashing his face with water. He doesn't even bother to comb his hair.

 

He walks into the kitchen to see Nico drinking from a very large mug of black coffee that's probably strong enough to chew at the island. She nods at him, and he nods back.

 

“How’s our girl?” She asks as he pops some bread in the toaster.

 

“Uh, pretty much the same. Molly tell you what happened yesterday?”

 

“No! What happened?” Nico perks up at the mere mention of a threat, and his lips quirk up for a second before remembering what he’s about to tell her.

 

“We has a pretty close call yesterday. She had a seizure? And she started glowing kind of faintly? It was terrifying.” Nico shivers at the image that is surely coming to mind.

 

“Fuck, I just wish Karolina was back already."

 

He blows out a breath. "Me too, Neeks-"

 

He's interrupted by the landline practically ringing off the hook. He answers, asking, "Hello?"

 

"Hey, Chase, just wondering why the fuck you didn't show up today or yesterday, what the hell?" Oh, shit, it's Claire, his boss at the coffee shop he works at. "I was fucking scrambling to get your shift covered, couldn't you have at least told me-"

 

"My girlfriend got hurt two days ago, and she almost died. I'm sorry that I didn't call to tell you I wouldn't be showing up, and honestly I'm probably not going to be coming in for a long while, until she's up and moving again. I understand if that means I won't be working with you anymore." Wow, he sounds so Adult. Gert would be proud.

 

"Oh, dear, what happened?"

 

"She got shot." He hears Claire gasp. "So, um, yeah, I'm either gonna need a lot of time off or I'll quit/be fired or whatever, I just need to be here with her, at least until she's back on her feet. Somebody has to, and our parents really aren't in the picture anymore-" He's over-explaining for absolutely no reason. Why is he like this?

 

"You don't have to justify staying home to take care of your injured girlfriend to me, kid. I understand, obviously. And don't worry about your place here, when you're ready to come back I'll have a spot open for you, no matter what."

 

"Really? Oh, that's awesome. Thank you so much, Claire."

 

"No worries. Laters," she hangs up, and Chase puts the phone back on the hook.

 

And then picks it back up again because, guess what, Gert _also_ has a job that doesn't know why she hasn't shown up! He dials the number for the theatre Gert works at, and is met with a cheery, "Hello, there!"

 

"Hi, it's Kevin, right?"

 

"That's right!" No person has a right to be this cheery, what the hell?

 

"Uh, yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Gert? Gert Yorkes?"

 

"Yes, she didn't show up yesterday, would you tell her that-"

 

"I can't. She got injured and, uh, she's sleeping. Has been for the past two days. I was calling to tell you that she wouldn't be showing up to work for a while, obviously. I don't know if that entails her losing her job, but-"

 

"It doesn't." Kevin's voice has lost it's cheer, and takes on a worried tone. "May I ask what happened?"

 

Chase sighs. "She got shot. And she kind of almost died?" _She did die. In my arms_. "So. Yeah. She can't come into work."  
 

"I completely understand. When she's.........when she's in good health again, her job will still be here for her."

 

"That's great. Thank you."

 

They say goodbye, and Chase hangs up the phone, turning back to Nico. "So, that's dealt with, I suppose."

 

She smirks. "'Suppose'. You sound like her."

 

"Well, we are gonna get married one day, so I assume so." He doesn't mean to say that, but it's true. Well, he hopes it is.

 

Nico's eyebrows go up. "have you proposed and not told us, or..........?"

 

He sighs. "I've been kind of trying to talk to her about it, but you know her. She's not always good with," he gestures with his hand, not really knowing what he's implying. "And with what just happened, you know, it's not the right time." He sounds melancholic, and he starts spreading jam on his toast to distract himself.

 

"well, aren't you guys a little young? That might be why she's been....."

 

"I mean, yeah, we are," Chase turns around, toast abandoned for a moment, "but I just can't see myself doing this with anyone else, you know? I want to build a life with her, I want to raise kids together, I want to grow old with her, I-" _might not ever get to do any of those things if something goes wrong and she doesn't ever wake up._ He squeezes his eyes shut to stop the tears, and Nico puts her coffee down and stands to come and wrap her arms around him.

 

He presses his face into her shoulder, and she smells like Dove soap and instant coffee. Probably spilled some on herself when she was making it the way she always does.

 

"She's gonna be okay, Chase."

 

"How do you know?"

 

"Girl came back from the dead, you don't think she can survive a nap? Please, you know her better than that." He laughs wetly, and Nico squeezes once, then lets go.

 

He wipes at his eyes. "Thanks, Neeks."

 

"Anytime, Broseph."

 

~~~~~

 

Gert dreams of the night it all started to go downhill.

 

She dreams of the call from Chase that she didn't see until it was too late. She dreams of listening to his voicemail on the way to pick up Karolina, and of the worry and fear she'd felt when she heard his voice, choked up and stressed.

 

_"Hey, Gert, um, I guess you're busy right now, but if you get this, call me back, okay? I, um, my dad, he............I don't know what to do, and I just...........I need you. Call me back."_

 

She tapped her fingers on the wheel repetitively as she picked up Karolina and drove the rest of the way to Chase's. She watched the cars pull in with Karolina, watched that creep pull in, too, then got out and picked the lock. She was glad she remembered how to. Like riding a bike, right?

 

She made her way up to Chase's room to wait, Old Lace following behind, and wow, his room was huge. Hers was a broom closet in comparison.

 

Old Lace ate off of his decorative plant, even though Gert tried to stop her, and of course it was the first thing he noticed when he walked in.

 

The second thing he noticed is Old Lace, which prompted him to grab a lacrosse stick- which, really? That was his weapon of choice?- and say, "Holy shit! Gert, look out!"

 

"Chase, chill." She started to stroke Old Lace's chin as she spoke. "Also, lacrosse sticks are not the cure all for everything."

 

"That thing already tried to kill us!"

 

"She listens to me. And protects me. Which means if I say so, she protects _us._ "

 

Chase put down the lacrosse stick and cautiously moved closer, hand outstretched. "Hey.........hey," he said to Old Lace, a cautious smile across his face. It disappeared, though, when Old Lace roared, and Chase took a step back, scared.

 

"Okay, you know, maybe I should just do the touching." Old Lace nudged her, and Gert started to stroke the top of her head, too.

 

"Got it."

 

His shoulders dropped, and she stepped away from Old Lace to walk up to him, leaving a safe distance of about five feet between them. "Wanna tell me what's going on?" Her voice was soft, and she reached out a cautious hand to touch his arm.

 

"My dad........He'd been so much better lately, but of course that didn't stick, and I was down in the lab, working on something, and suddenly that was such a big deal, even though it wasn't yesterday, and of course I had to go and start a fight. It would've been better if I just let him hit me. But no, I had to go and dodge and then hit _him_ , and he grabbed the fucking Fistigons and hit me with them. I thought.........I thought he was going to kill me. And then my mom comes in with a fucking gun, like, where did she even _get_ that thing, and shoots him, and then, I just, I," he started to hyperventilate, and Gert closed the distance between them to wrap her arms around his shoulders and pull him to her.

 

"Hey, shhh, it's okay, you're okay, Chase," she talked him down from the panic attack that was surely on its way, but even once he'd calmed down, Chase didn't let go. If anything, he squeezed tighter.

 

"I've missed this." He said quietly, and she made a questioning noise. "Just, being able to talk to you. I've missed being friends with you."

 

"Me too." And she had. It felt like a hole in her chest was finally closing.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah, Chase." She pulled back, his arms still encircling her, and said, "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

 

She took his hands in hers and gently dragged him to the bathroom, and he leaned against the counter as she wet a few rags. She started to dab at the blood on his neck as she asked quietly, "So, your dad..............had that.........had that happened before?" She was pretty sure the answer was yes. Some shady stuff from their childhood was finally starting to add up.

 

Chase sighed, tilting his head so she could get at some of the blood behind his ear. "Yeah. Not for the past little while, though. He'd been.............He'd been better. God, I'm so stupid, I really thought....................."

 

"Hey," she said, putting her hand to his jaw to get him to look at her. "This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault, Chase."

 

His eyes fell closed as he leaned into her hand, and a tear slipped down his cheek. Gert reached up carefully and wiped the tear away with her thumb, then realized what she was doing, and jittered her hands away.

 

"Um, I have some glass in my back, I think, would you........"

 

"Of course."

 

He took off his shirt, and she didn't know why she was surprised by that. For about half a millisecond, her eyes flicked down to his abs, and she had to tamp down _hard_ on the arousal that threatened to rise. Not the time.

 

He turned around, and Gert took a rag and a pair of tweezers (which Chase definitely used for his eyebrows, like, what else would he use them for?) and started to carefully pluck one of the bigger pieces out of his back.

 

He hissed at the pain, and she stopped, saying, "Sorry."

 

"No, it's okay."

 

She continued to pull out the glass until she got out the very last piece, then said, "All done. Um, I think I should use some hydrogen peroxide, if you have it. Is that okay? I know you used to like, despise it, so." Oh, the fits he used to throw when they were children whenever he got a scraped knee or elbow playing in the street when he was at her house.

 

He looked back at her and screwed up his face at her. Unfortunately, it was adorable. And so was the pouty look on his face after. "Do you have to?"

 

"I think so, dude," she said it like a doctor delivering bad news, and one side of his mouth quirked up.

 

"Okay, fine." He still sounded about twelve years old, and she huffed a laugh. "Hey, don't laugh at me. I'm injured, it's mean."

 

"Sorry, sorry." She takes the hydrogen peroxide out of the cupboard and wets a rag with it, then started to wipe at his back.

 

He hissed. "Could've at least given me a warning!"

 

"Oh, come on, it is not that bad." They spoke quietly, almost like they didn't want to rupture anything.

 

When she was done, he tugged his shirt back on, and they went to sit on the bed to wait for Karolina. She sat down first, and when Chase went to sit next to her he was a lot closer than was necessary.

 

Silently, Chase wrapped his hand around hers. She looked to him, smiling softly, and he smiled back.

 

Karolina barged into the room right at that moment, and they split apart as if shocked, and she asked confusedly, "Am I interrupting anything?"

 

And that's when the dream is hit with a wave of colourful sand, and Gert- or a shadow of her, anyways- gets washed away with it.

 

She ends up in a vortex of brightly-coloured sand, and she can't see anything but entire spectrum swirling around her. But she can hear something.

 

It's faint, but it's there- Chase, talking to her. It's hard to pick out what he's saying, but she tries. She has to, for him.

 

~~~~~

 

It's been four days since Gert died and came back to life, and she still hasn't woken up. 

 

So.......he's been talking to her. About everything and anything he can think of. Which happens to be………marriage.

 

“So when you wake up,” when, not if, never if, “I really want to talk to you about something. Well, not something…….I want to talk to you about marriage. And yeah, yeah, I know, this is the exact vein of conversation that you hate, but I need you to know that this is something I want. And like, this isn’t a proposal, obviously, you can’t even hear me right now, but you’re the one I want to spend my life with, buy a house with, raise kids with, grow old with, and I know you want that stuff to, but for me that includes marriage. Not like, right now, but…….at some point.” He blows out a breath. “Fuck, this is so stupid. You can’t even hear me. I hope you wake up soon. I miss you. So just come back to me already, would you?”

 

~~~~~

 

 _“_ _So just come back to me already, would you?”_

 

Chase’s voice is pleading, and all she wants to do is just wake up and wrap her arms around him, hold him close. But……she can’t. Not yet. She’s not strong enough.

 

But she will be soon. She’ll make sure of it.

 

~~~~~

 

The next day, Penelope’s other kid shows up. She’s around their age, with long dark hair and a t-shirt proclaiming herself a ‘fucking feminist’. Chase decides almost immediately that Gert will _love_ her.

 

“So my mom sent me over to do a check-up, just basic stuff, she gave me a list- and I’ve done at least five first aid courses so-“

 

He holds his hands up good-naturedly. “You don’t need to give me your credentials. It’s Elena, right?” He tries to say it the way Gert would, with no hard _a_ sound.

 

She gives him a half smile. "Yeah, um, that's me. So," she says, gesturing for him to let her inside. He steps out of her way and looks down, realizing he's still wearing his pyjamas and hasn't shaved in like, four days. Whoops. Elena looks very clean cut in comparison, and he feels a little embarrassed.

 

"Did your mom tell you what happened, or….." he starts as they walk to the Gert's room. 

 

"She told me that whatever you told me I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone, not even Syd- that’s my girlfriend- unless they came with me, but they have class right now, and overall it was just very confusing- wait. What the hell?" She's staring at Gert, eyes wide as saucers.

 

"What is it?" Gert looks normal, save for the whole 'in a coma' thing, but is there something he's not seeing? It's not like Old Lace is here, she's running around the (gated) backyard, but Elena looks absolutely shell-shocked.

 

"Carmen! That's Carmen! But I just talked to her last night!" Elena exclaims, gesturing wildly. "She's in _Austin_ right now, what _is_ this?"

 

"Uh, I don't know any Carmens." False. There's a Carmen in his Econ class, and of course Gert's mother, though he's obviously never met her. "That's Gert. Gert Yorkes?"

 

"No, I swear, that's Carmen except if her hair was purple instead of black. I am....so confused." She's rubbing at her temples, and Chase still doesn't get what the big deal is. They look kind of alike. So what?  
 

"I mean, I get that they probably look a little similar, but- woah, what the fuck?" Elena is pushing a picture of what is presumably this Carmen girl in his face, and, holy shit, that is literally just a goth version of his girlfriend.

 

"I know! This is insane! They are literally twins!"

 

He shakes his head, getting a closer look at the photo. "Okay, okay, this is like, totally crazy, but can we focus please? Sorry, I just-"

 

"Oh, yeah, jeez, I'm sorry. Um, I’m just gonna get started, should only take a few minutes.” She goes to sit on the side of the bed, opening her bag as Chase leans against the doorway.

 

“So, you said you took a bunch of first aid courses. Is that what you want to do, go into medicine, like your mom?”

 

Elena gets out a tiny flashlight and opens one of Gert’s eyes, shining the light into it. “Oh, no, I couldn’t handle the pressure. I’m in university right now, though, doing political science and women’s studies- that’s weird.”

 

Chase rushes over to the other side of the bed and asks, frantic, “What is it?”

 

“Dude, chill. It’s just….her eyes. Look, they reflect the light.” She opens Gert’s eye again and shines the light back and forth. When it’s on her eye, the deep brown turns golden yellow, then goes right back to the original colour when Elena moves the light away. Huh.

 

Chase leans in closer to watch the change as Elena does it again. “Do you know what this could mean?” 

 

“Well, animals eyes reflect light like this because they have a layer under their retinas of this, uh, stuff that I can't for the life of me remember the name of, although she obviously isn’t an animal of that kind. It could be a mutation, maybe? Was she exposed to any radiation recently?” 

 

He shakes his head, then says, “No radiation, but…..” He trails off, and Elena raises her eyebrows at him, waiting for an answer. But what is he supposed to say? Sorry, his girlfriend got resurrected four days ago so there might be some weird shit going on with her? 

 

Elena is still waiting. “Must be just a side effect.”

 

“Of?”

 

_Death. Resurrection. Meeting their friend who’s been dead for four years in purgatory._

 

Well, that last part is just a guess, but everything else…..

 

He meets Elena’s eyes, and she must realize that he’s not going to give her an answer, because she says, “I’m just gonna continue with the check up.”

 

“Please.”

 

She takes out a list clearly written by her mother, and Chase stands to go and lean against the door again and watch as Elena finishes checking her over.

 

When she’s done, she packs up her bag and stands. “All good. Oh, yeah, my _abuelita_ made these for you.” She hands him a Tupperware, and when he opens it he breathes in the smell of the still warm chocolate chip cookies inside. Damn, it’s been a long time since he had homemade desserts. Molly does a lot of cooking, but she doesn’t like baking as much, claiming she’s more of a ‘savoury person’. 

 

"Oh, no way! Thanks so much, really. Um, would you like to stay for coffee? Or tea? Maybe share these?" He's tired of moping around the house like a ghost, and maybe talking to a new person will be a good start.

 

"Will you tell me what happened to her if I do?"

 

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

 

"I'm a curious person." Elena smirks, possibly because she knows she's going to get what she wants, and he sighs good-naturedly as he gestures for her to follow him into the kitchen.

 

"Coffee or tea?"

 

"Oh, coffee. I'm a little addicted." She gestures as she talks, and Chase realizes that Penelope does the same thing. He wonders if he does that in regards to his parents, if he's picked up their little mannerisms without noticing. Is it sad to say he hopes not?

 

"Ha, sounds like half the people in this house." He starts up a pot of coffee, and turns on the kettle for himself. "Alex is practically nocturnal half the time, and with Karolina gone for the month Nico's even more caffeine dependant to get through the day, I mean, the minute Karo leaves for one of her work trips it's like she's a completely different person. I'd make fun of her for it, but me and Gert aren't much better. Speaking of Gert, she puts like, four spoonfuls of sugar in her coffee every morning, and it's worse during tech week. She works at the local theatre." Damn, this is the most he's talked at once in like, four days.

 

"Are Karolina and Nico....." She gestures awkwardly, but Chase has no clue what she's trying to ask. He raises his eyebrows, and Elena asks awkwardly, "Um, are they........together?"

 

Ohhh. "Yeah, for about two years now. High school sweethearts, even if we all, like, dropped out at seventeen. But they had their first kiss at a school dance, so I think it should count, right?"

 

Elena's eyes go wide. "What do you mean, you all dropped out? How does that just _happen?_ "

 

"Oh. Uh." _Our parents were in a murder cult and we were key suspects in a homicide_. "Just, uh," _okay, say this as nonchalantly as possible_ , "Our parents were evil and we got framed for murder, do you remember the thing in the news around a year ago about the P.R.I.D.E. organization? That was us."

 

Elena blinks a few times, processing, then says, "Oh my god, you guys were The Runaways? You know, I knew I recognized you from somewhere." Oh, God, he hates that fucking nickname.

 

After what happened, there was an annoying amount of news coverage, and reporters chose to dub them 'the runaways', to their contempt. Sometimes he gets recognized while out shopping or at work, but usually people don't know where they've seen him before, so they keep trying to place where they've seen him before throughout the entire interaction, and it's just such a bad experience every time. The media are fucking sharks.

 

"Yep, that's us. You seem to be handling this pretty well." When he's told people before, the reactions vary from pity to outright fear, and it's never a good time.

 

"Well, I guess. I mean, happens to everybody, right?"

 

Chase cracks up. He can't help it. _Happens to everybody?_

 

Once he calms down a little, he says, "No, I'm pretty sure this is a unique experience."

 

"I suppose so, huh?"

 

He laughs again, then starts pouring out her coffee into the mug Gert bought at a charity thing a while ago. It was a mini marketplace, and the money from everything you bought went to a women's shelter in the area. The mug is printed with a painting of Sappho, and he figures Elena will appreciate that.

 

"How do you take your coffee? Double double?"

 

"Yeah, actually. How'd you know?"

 

"Just a guess." He hands her the mug, and she takes a long sip, humming in appreciation.

 

Chase pours hot water into his favourite mug, Molly's birthday gift last year that proclaims him a **#1 BROTHER**. He drops the teabag in and waits for it to steep, then pours in the cream and sugar.

 

He and Elena sit at the island, and she asks, "So? What happened?"

 

Sigh. He'd been hoping she'd forgotten. "Uh, so, we do P.I. work sometimes, just for, you know, abnormal cases, the mutants and the aliens and whatever else-"

 

"Aliens?" She asks incredulously. Oh, was that supposed to be a secret? Is he going to get a call from Area 51 now?

 

"Aliens." Wait, there was an invasion in New York about a decade ago and it was public info. He's good here. "Anyways, yeah, so we get this call from this little old lady, saying her house got robbed. And it's not like we just weren't going to go, so me, Gert, and Nico head out, but turns out the motherfucker who 'robbed' her was actually just a hired gun who threatened to kill her if she didn't call us, because, you know, he was hired to murder me."

 

"Your guys lives are....."

 

"Crazy? Yeah, I've noticed. Anyways, um, he took a shot at me, but....Gert stepped in front of me. Caught the bullet and saved my life. And then.......she died. Heart stopped, no breathing, nothing, for like, two hours. And then she's just.......back. I don't know how- no one does. So, yeah. That's what happened." His voice is quiet, and he wipes at his eyes.

 

"Damn. I'm sorry for asking, bringing everything up, that wasn't-"

 

"It's okay. Better you than some stranger who like, asked how my day was and I spilled everything to them." He's done that before. It did not go well.

 

Elena snorts. "Yeah, I get that. So, Gert. What's she like?"

 

Ooh, this is a golden opportunity. He loves talking about Gert, but they don't often meet new people, so he rarely gets the chance to go on and on about her like he wants to.

 

"Amazing. We've been dating for over two years now, but I've known her since we were three, and she's always been smart and clever and funny, so funny, and she can control a room like nobody else. In high school she was kind of introverted, but now that she's really come into herself she's so charming, well, she was always charming, but you know what I mean. She's very passionate about her activism, she does a lot of volunteering and she's always going to marches. I go with her whenever I can. She's very sincere, which I think is one of my favourite things about her- well. Everything about Gert is my favourite. And she's a very honest person, which I think is detrimental to our whole environment in this house, with six, sometimes seven, sometimes eight people in one household, we really need someone who cuts through the bullshit, you know? Oh, yeah, and she picked up guitar again recently, she played when we were younger and then everything happened so she had to stop, and she's such a natural, it's amazing. She's like that with a lot of music stuff, her voice is spectacular, and she's a great piano player, even though we only have a keyboard at the moment. When we get married and move into a house that's just her and me I'm gonna buy her a baby grand piano, I think. I love when those are in houses, don't you? They're so beautiful, and then-" _she could teach the kids to play, and we could go to their little recitals, and buy them a huge bouquet of roses, and go to dinner afterwards_. He's got a big goofy grin on his face now, just thinking about it. "Um, sorry. I haven't spoken more than two sentences in like, four days, so."

 

Barring nonsensically chatting to Gert's sleeping form, he hasn't really been one for conversation, which he knows isn't fair. Everyone else is hurting just as much as he is. But it's just......hard. Everything is hard right now.

 

Elena smiles softly. "You really love this girl, huh?"

 

He nods. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

 

~~~~~

 

Gert dreams of Molly.

 

She's been dreaming of Molly a lot, actually, but this memory isn't as old as the others. It was probably about a year and a half ago, maybe a bit longer, she's not completely sure- time feels odd here, more like an ocean than a straight line.

 

In the days before, Molly had been.......weird. She was holing herself up in her room, and not talking when she came out, and overall it just felt _wrong_ , and so out of character for her sister that Gert didn't know what to do with herself.

 

Until she came up with an idea.

 

For the past week, Molly had been almost nocturnal, stalking around the house at night when she thought no one was around, but that night Gert made sure that she definitely was around.

 

She sat in the kitchen, waiting for Molly to eventually walk in, for food or something else. She read while she waited, a book Chase had picked up for her on the last trip to a thrift store.

 

Gert waited and waited, until eventually she heard whistling and Molly's footsteps coming down the hallway. They stop near the open door, and Gert guessed hat she was confused at the light being on.

 

"Hello?" Molly asked cautiously, stepping into the kitchen.

 

"Hey, Molls. Come sit?"

 

Gert pats the seat next to her at the island, and Molly hesitates. She went stiff as a board as she started picking at her jeans, then hesitantly came to sit down.

 

"So.......what's up?" she won't make eye contact with Gert, though she's trying to get her to.

 

"I think maybe I should be the one asking you that, Molly."

 

She gulps. "What....what do you mean?"

 

Gert put her hand over hers, and Molly looked up at her. She's never seen that much fear in her sister's eyes before. _"I mean_ that I hardly ever see you lately, and when I do, you look like something very heavy is weighing you down, and you don't know how to take it off your shoulders. I just......I want to know where you've been, and why you've been there." She made sure to look her in the eyes, made sure that Molly understood how sincere she was being.

 

Unexpectedly, Molly threw her arms around her, holding her tight as she let out hiccupy sobs. Gert, surprised, ran her hand up her sister's back as she tried to comfort her.

 

"Hey, shh, it's okay, you're okay, Molls."

 

"I'm not, though, I'm not okay. I don't feel like I'm real anymore. I've been keeping this in for so long that it feels like it's become a part of me, and I just don't feel _real_." Her voice was choked up, and suddenly Gert was crying a little, too.

 

"What is it, Molly? What have you been keeping in?"

 

Molly pulled back, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Do you promise not to be mad?"

 

"I-" _Why would I be mad?_ "Yes. I promise."

 

Molly took another deep breath, and with her eyes still closed, squeezed shut like she was afraid of what she would see if she opened them, she said, "I'm...........I'm gay, Gert."

 

Oh.

 

This time, it's Gert who pulls Molly into a crushing hug, holding her tight. "I'm sorry that I made you feel scared to tell me," she said, because that was the one thing she wanted from her parents when she came out that she never got: an _apology_. Her parents were straight, and as much as they scrambled to accept her, they forgot the other part to the equation: all the times they let their friends say something awful, all the behaviour they let slide that made Gert feel so unsafe and scared and hesitant to tell them in the first place. "And I'm sorry if I've ever said something or done something that made you think that I would ever, _ever_ do anything but love you the way you are. _Every_ way you are."

 

"I don't know why I was scared, I mean, I know you're bi, but I was just so afraid that somehow, you were harboring this secret hatred, you know, so I hadn't told you, but it was eating me up inside, and it felt like I was _drowning."_

 

"Well, you can come up for air now. Nobody will stop you, and certainly not me. You can tell anyone you like, okay? And keep it from anyone you like. This is _yours."_

 

When Gert came out to her parents, they told her she wasn't allowed to tell any of the relatives. But of course, _they_ were allowed to tell anyone they liked. She was thirteen, and got _robbed_ of telling her friends, because her parents gossiped about it to all the parents in Pride, so when she sat everyone down they already knew. It felt awful to have that stolen from her, and she never, ever, _ever_ wanted Molly to have that experience. Something changed in their relationship, when she told them. It felt like they took something from her, and she never really got over it.

 

Molly told everyone else the next day, apparently feeling like the hard part was over. She said it very nonchalantly, but the death grip she had on Gert's hand was strong enough to break bones.

 

The reactions didn't vary all that much. Everyone told her they loved her, and apologized for making her feel like she couldn't tell them. It ended in a group hug and Molly beaming like a maniac, and Gert couldn't have been happier.

 

 _She deserves this,_ she thought. _She deserves_ ** _everything._**

 

The dream dissolves, again, and Jesus Christ, Gert never knew it was possible to be this tired of something while asleep.

 

She just wants to see her family again.

 

~~~~~

 

If he were being honest with himself, Alex would admit that he has definitely been avoiding Gert and everything related to her complete-death-experience.

 

He doesn't completely know why. He's bad at confronting his feelings, and in regards to his pseudo-sister's death and subsequent resurrection, he sure does have a lot of them.

 

But he convinced Chase to get a shower for the first time in five days, which means Alex has to stay here with Gert while he's gone, because being away from her for more than twenty minutes scares Chase and he needs someone watching over her.

 

So here he is, sitting in the armchair and twiddling his thumbs, waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

 

He sighs, and looks at Gert. She looks more peaceful than he's ever seen her awake, but there's something eerie about it too, because this is so plainly not who she is. Gert isn't quiet and calm, she's brash and loud and fun and so, so, alive.

 

Alex puts his hand over hers and fiddles with her still fingers. "Hey, Gert. I don't know if you've guessed, or if you can even hear me, but.....I've kind of been avoiding....this. You. It's hard, for me, sometimes, um, dealing with my emotions. But I just miss you. A lot. Nothing feels the same without you. Meals are so much quieter now, and Molly's gone completely into herself. I don't think I've seen her smile in days. And Nico, with what you said to her, about Amy? She's been really out of her head about it." He sighs. "I don't know. It just feels like with you gone, there's no glue. You keep us together. You know how in every friendship, there's like, a heart? That keeps everyone stable? That's _you_. I don't think I ever realized it, but it is." Alex blows out a breath. "And, Jesus, I just love you. I know I don't say it a lot, but I do. We all do." He wipes at his eyes, and stands. "Well, okay. This is getting a bit emotional for me. I'm just gonna...."

 

~~~~~

 

Gert is so sick of this. She wants her family back, and she swears if she sees one more fucking speck of coloured sand she's going to combust.

 

The edges of her vision start to soften again, which always means she's sinking into a dream, and all she can think is _NO. No, no, no._ She won't do it.

 

And then she hears Alex, voice soft and emotional, telling her he loves her, telling her she's the _heart_. And if that's not incentive Gert doesn't know what is.

 

She has to wake up. She has to. If she stays in this dreamy, technicolour _hell_ for one more second she's never going to come back up.

 

So she tries. She has to. She can't stand this anymore.

 

~~~~~

 

Alex is turned away from her, on the way out the door, to take a calming walk around the house, when he hears a croaking voice say, "Hey, Alex? I love you, too."

 

"Gert? Oh my god, Gert!" He turns back around and rushes to the bed, and yep, she's awake and moving.

 

"Help me sit up?" Her voice is still a raspy croak, but hey, she's up! And talking!

 

"Yeah, yeah, of course, of course," he moves the pillows and puts a hand on her back to help her get upright.

 

"Ow, ow, ow," she says, her face screwing up, and his eyes go wide as he takes his hands off of her.

 

"What hurts?" His hands are hovering around her, trying to figure out what to do.

 

"My back, fucking ow, my back. Jesus, it feels like it got smashed with a hammer." she's got a death grip on his hand right now, and her face is twisted up in pain.

 

"I'm gonna go get you an icepack, okay? And, um, some medicine. And, fuck, I should probably call Penelope-"

 

"Who? And where's Chase? And Molly?" She puts a hand to her forehead, presumably trying to press back the headache.

 

"Penelope is a nurse friend of Victor's that we've had watching over you, because we really couldn't take you to a doctor, you know? Molly's at school for another hour or so, but I'm probably gonna go pick her up now that you're awake, and Chase is in the shower for the first time in like, five days, so-"  
 

"Ugh, yeah, I can wait another ten minutes. Waited this long, I guess." He runs his hand gently up and down Gert's back.

 

"Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go get that stuff for you, alright?" He asks softly, and she nods.

 

He squeezes her arm, then stands, rushing to the kitchen to get an ice pack, some ibuprofen, and a large bottle of water.  She hasn't drank anything in days, so even with the IV making sure she isn't dehydrated, she must be thirsty.

 

When Alex returns, Old Lace has woken up and is excitedly nudging at Gert, who is still rubbing at her back in pain as she pets her, so he immediately puts the ice pack between her and the pillows. She lean back against it and says, "Thanks," with a heavy sigh.

 

"Anytime. Drink?" She nods, and he hands her the bottle, and a pill, but she can't unscrew the cap, so he has to do it for her. Gert pops the pill in her mouth and starts gulping down water, and by the time she's done half the bottle is empty. She shakily puts the bottle back on the nightstand, and he says, "Once Chase is out of the shower, I'm gonna go pick up Molly, okay? And I'll call Nico."  
  
"Yeah, okay. Um, how long has it been, again?"

 

"What, since......" she nods, and he says, "about five days."

 

"Ah. Time felt a little.......weird, there, so I wasn't sure."

 

Alex sits on the side of the bed. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, I kept getting flashed back to these different memories, and when I wasn't there it was like I was......I........Chase?"

 

~~~~~

 

Chase stands at the door, frozen in shock. She's _awake_.

 

He rushes to her, Alex stepping out of the way so he can pull Gert to him. He presses his face into her neck and breathes her in, saying, "Fuck, I missed you."  
  
"I missed you too, baby."

 

"Okay, I think that's my cue to go pick up Molly. Glad you're back, Gertie Guts." Alex says, heading out the door.

 

"I'd be upset with him for that if I wasn't so in pain," she rasps into his chest, voice weak from disuse, and Chase's heart squeezes.

 

"You're in pain? What hurts, love?"

 

"My back, and I've got a killer headache. Alex already got me medicine, though, so it should kick in soon.” God, it feels so good to have her in his arms again. 

 

~~~~~

 

“That’s good, then. I’m so glad you’re back, Gert.” He presses a kiss to the side of her neck, and she hums.

 

“Me too, sweetheart.” She pressed her face into his shirt, just breathing him in. It feels so good to have him here, in person, no longer just a figure in a dream. “So what’ve you been up to, hm? How’s Molly holding up?”

 

“Better than I was, to be honest. After that first day she refused to miss school, said that’s what you would wanted to do. Um, I’ve kind of just been keeping an eye on you. Haven’t really done much else.”

 

“Okay, Edward Cullen-“

 

Chase cuts her off with a laugh. “I honest to god predicted you saying that.”

 

She hums, then says, “I dreamed of you, you know.”

 

“You did?”

 

“Yeah, Chase.”

 

They stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and Chase doesn’t let her go until Molly rolls in like a hurricane and attacks her with a hug.

 

“Hey, Molls!” She says joyfully, her voice a quiet rasp. Gert _so_ missed her sister.

 

"What happened to never leaving me, you _asshole_ , I was so scared,” Molly holds onto her like a lifeline, and Gert squeezes tight.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I never wanted to leave you, I’m sorry,” she looks to Chase over Molly’s shoulder and asks him silently, _does she know?_

 

He shakes his head, and she nods. Good. 

 

Is it bad that Gert doesn’t want her sister to know what really happened? That she was killed (fuck, she hates that word now) saving someone? Saving _Chase?_

 

But she just knows how that would weigh on Molly, okay? She wouldn't see Chase as her brother anymore, she'd see him as the guy her sister died saving. Once things have calmed down a little, Gert will tell her the circumstances of what happened. Maybe. But not right now. She's in a lot of pain, and her mind feels all foggy.

 

She sniffles, reaching a hand out to Chase, and he takes it and squeezes tightly. Gert looks at him, asking with her eyes for him to come closer, and he shifts to wrap an arm around Gert, Molly still clinging to her.

 

She leans into him, trying to absorb as much body heat as she can from the both of them. They are warm, and Gert is so, so cold.

 

~~~~~

 

Penelope is on a rampage.

 

Nico had driven to pick her up, solely because she was closest and she had the car this morning, while Penelope had taken the bus because, as she's ranting about right now, Elena (her daughter, who Nico hasn't met yet, though Chase says she's cool) needed it today.

 

"See, she wanted to go to this movie screening with Syd, some film about this wizard and he goes to wizard school, but it's not Harry Potter, Elena was very dedicated to making sure I knew it wasn't Harry Potter, and she wanted to go today so I said, 'take the car, but make sure to pick up your brother', which is why I had to take the bus to the market, but of course _Mami_ wanted to come-" the old Cuban woman sitting in the backseat of the clunker- because of course Nico drove Gert's car to work today- waves cheerily. Nico is glad she told the gang to put Old Lace in the backyard, she does not seem like the type of person to just let a dinosaur slide.

 

"That is me. My name is Lydia, by the way," she says it kind of shadily, as if it was rude of her daughter to not introduce her, and, like, Nico gets that? But she's also in too much of a rush right now to care about pleasantries. The only stop they'd made was one back to Penelope's office to pick up supplies, and in that time Lydia has materialized a basket into her lap that smells like the interior is absolute heaven if absolute heaven could be a food. Nico doesn't know if she put it all together when she wasn't looking, or if she's a mutant. Mutants are getting fewer and farther between now, but eighty years ago they wouldn't have been.

 

Mutant's may be rarer now, but that doesn't mean they're any more willing to hide themselves, especially in L.A., though Molly still chooses to be selective about who she tells, which is smart. It's kind of like being LGBT, you know? Sometimes there's no telling who's a bigot and who's not.

 

"Yeah, sorry _Mami_ , and then- oh. We're here." She sounds a little disappointed, like she wanted to talk more, and Nico cracks a little smile. Lydia gasps in the back seat.

 

Nico's smile disappears as she looks back. "What?"

 

"You smiled! I saw it! There is hope." She claps her hands together, delighted, and Nico snorts. Karolina is going to get a fucking kick out of this woman when she gets back.

 

She just wishes her girlfriend would come home already. All of this would be so much easier to deal with if she was here, from Gert's total-death-experience, to Gert apparently meeting her sister in purgatory. Nico still doesn't know how to feel about that.

 

They get out of the car and rush inside, finding the rest of Nico's family- even Victor, although she's pretty sure he had a test today- holed up in the guest room where Gert's been staying. Chase, Gert, and Molly are piled together on the bed, while Alex and Victor share the armchair. Alex is vaguely blushing, and any other time Nico would probably tease him for it.

 

"You're Penelope?" Gert asks softly. Her voice is more of a rasp than anything.

 

"Yeah, kid. Can the cuddle pile split up for a bit so I can look you over?" Penelope speaks in a tone so comforting that for a second, Nico inhabits the body of a Lost Boy from Neverland begging Wendy to be his mother.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase and Molly reluctantly move away from Gert, and she

feels their absence like a bullet wound- what, too soon?

 

Penelope sits on the side of the bed with a comforting look on her face, and Gert's heart _aches_. She so misses having a mother, no matter how flawed she was, and Penelope's presence is so motherly that it hurts somewhere, deep in her soul.

 

"Okay, so first I'm......" she goes about calmly describing the process, asking permission before she does each thing. It makes Gert feel as though she's being taken care of, instead of just a nurse making a house call, presumably as a favour. Though from what Molly and Chase have told her, the Alvarez's haven't been treating it that way, so that's nice of them. She's excited to meet this 'Elena' chick, anyhow.

 

"Can I flash this light in your eyes? I need to check something Elena told me about." Huh? Gert looks to Chase, and he nods reassuringly.

 

"........Okay."

 

Penelope takes the pin light and flashes it back and forth across Gert's eyes, which hurts, but she braves it. "Just like I thought. So, it seems you've developed something called tepetum lucidum under your retinas, which makes your eyes literally glow when directly confronted with light, and when you're in the dark. The good news: you pretty much have night vision now."

 

"And the bad news?" Chase's hand lands on her shoulder, and she reaches up to tangle their fingers together.

 

Penelope bites her lip. "Well, if this has developed, I kind of have to wonder.........what else has? But I think we can leave that for another time. Right now I want you to focus on resting, and if the back pain extends past a week I'll look into setting you up with a chiropractor. It might be that all you need is lots of rest and a few good meals in you and you'll be fine, but we'll have to wait and see- _Mami._ What are you doing?" Penelope has turned around to face the doorway, where a tiny, elderly Cuban woman is standing with a huge plate of food that smells so good Gert might just pass out again. It's all traditional food, and some of it she recognizes from her mother's cookbook that she took with her when she was adopted, then once again took with her after _those_ parents died and she was allowed to go through their belongings. Most of the sentimental stuff from each of their homes now resides in a storage unit fifty miles from here, and Gert would like to keep it that way. She knows that there's some stuff she hasn't gotten her hands on yet, if only because she hasn't properly gone though the will- but there's no way she's dealing with that right now.

 

"Well," the woman, Penelope's mother, says bashfully, "I just happened to notice that these children look like street rats, so I put something together.” She’s got an accent, a thick one, and Gert finds herself loving the sound of it. 

 

“Are we street rats?” Molly asks in a wondering tone, and Alex snorts.

 

“Two years ago we were living out of a van, so I’d say so.” Victor lightly _whaps_ him on the shoulder, and Alex laughs.

 

"Well, either way," the woman says, "I made food and you are all going to eat it." She points seriously to each one of them, and Gert cracks a smile.

 

She notices Chase's eyes on her, and asks, "What is it?"

 

"I just missed seeing you smile, is all." Awww, that is so cute. She brings his hand to her lips and presses a quick kiss to his knuckles, and Chase lets out a satisfied sigh. His eyes fall closed for a second, and his shoulders drop, relaxed.

 

Two years ago, Gert would not have noticed this. Two years ago, she would have already looked away, already focused on something less important. Because to her, there are few things more important that Chase Stein.

 

God, she can't believe he wants to marry her. She'll have to talk to him about that, when they're alone. Tell him there's no way she would ever say no, when he chooses to ask.

 

"Eat, eat, tiny one!" The woman says, pushing a plate of rice and shredded beef covered in a delicious smelling sauce into Gert's hands.

 

"Um, thank you." Her voice is still a rasp. "But I'm pretty sure you're even smaller than I am, and, sorry, but what's your name?"

 

Penelope's mother gasps dramatically, hand over her heart, and asks her daughter, _"Lupe,_ did you not tell this girl who I am?"

 

Penelope rolls her eyes good-naturedly. _"Mami._ She just woke up from a coma." She turns to Gert and says, "I apologize for not introducing my mother, the great Lydia Riera."

 

And that's when Gert gets hit with something that she just cannot describe. It's a man's voice, saying the exact same thing in a smooth accent, followed by, "The most fantastic dancer in all of Cuba."

 

She whispers along with the voice, out of surprise, if anything, and Lydia's eyebrows go up.

 

"I- thank you- you're not wrong, but-"

 

"I'm sorry. I don't....." Gert swallows. "I don't know.....I just heard someone say that, just then, and I was....speaking along, I guess? Maybe?" She's so confused. How did she know that? Who was that voice?

 

Lydia crosses herself,  and after seeing her mother doing it, Penelope discreetly does the same.

 

"What, like, 'I see dead people'?" Alex says, and Gert screws up her mouth so she doesn't crack a smile. That wasn't funny, and this is serious, she cannot laugh right now.

 

"I mean, I didn't see anything, just heard this guy's voice, saying, 'the great Lydia Riera, the most fantastic dancer in all of Cuba'." She crosses her arms, uncomfortable, and Chase sits back on the bed to loosely wrap an arm around her waist.

 

"My husband used to call me that," Lydia says softly, a hand over her stomach, and Penelope reaches out to take her other hand.

 

"Well, it seems like maybe the whole dying thing might've given you a connection to other people's memories of their dead love ones." Nico says, stepping forward, and Molly snorts.

 

"Sorry, sorry, I know it's not funny, it just feels like we're on an episode of Supernatural or something right now." Oh, god. Gert had forgotten that show was still running. Thanks for that, Molls.

 

"Damn, couldn't have even said Buffy?" Victor says, and Gert snorts.

 

"Kids, could you please......?" Nico says tiredly, as if she didn't make a 420 joke last week walking through a cemetery. "Gert, I think I've read about this-"

 

"You think you've read about dead people hearing other dead people?" Everyone in the room flinches. Molly takes her hand and squeezes, leaning her head on Gert's shoulder.

 

"You're not......you're not dead, Gert." Chase says, and fuck, he looks so heartbroken.

 

She puts her hand on his chest, makes sure he's looking at her. "Sweetheart, hate to break it to you, but I died. I might've gotten resurrected, or whatever, but I was still _dead._ " Oh, shit. Wrong time to be blunt, his eyes are watering, fuck, fuck, fuck. "Oh, no, I'm sorry," she pulls him into a hug, "sorry, sorry, bad timing, I'm sorry."

 

Gert has a problem with trying to turn almost everything into a joke, just so she doesn't have to deal with it emotionally in front of everyone, but Chase is not like that _at all,_ and usually just gets more upset, and she has just totally fucked up, shit.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase clings to her, swallowing down a sob. She's not _dead,_ we've _established_ this, why did she have to go and say that?

 

"Cuddle pile!" Molly says, latching onto Gert, Victor and Alex getting out of the armchair to join the hug. Gert sticks her arm out of the pile to Nico, who sighs good-naturedly and wraps her arms around the lot of them. It's kind of comedic, seeing as she's the tiniest out of all of them.

 

God, he loves his family. The only one missing is Karolina, like, seriously, when is she coming home? Some alien planet can't possibly need her as much as they do right now. He wishes the message they set her would just deliver already, like seriously, why is interplanetary communication so fucking snail mail?

 

Nico, pretending to be cool and unemotional for the New People, pulls back first, the rest of them splitting off after her. Chase still keeps his arm around Gert’s waist, though, and Molly is still holding her hand.

 

Nico clears her throat. “Okay, um, I just meant that I saw this book a while ago at this supremely dusty bookstore downtown, and there was a chapter on resurrection. I think. I didn’t actually buy it, the lady at the counter freaked me out.” She crosses her arms, and Penelope stands.

 

“I have a feeling that this is probably something I can’t help you with.” Oh, really? This trained nurse has no knowledge of the supernatural? Typical. “I’ll stop by tomorrow, and you can always call, okay?”

 

Gert nods, because talking kind of hurts, and Penelope squeezes her shoulder, then leaves with her mother. Lydia still looks shaken, and Gert feels kind of guilty.

 

She takes a bite of the meal Lydia somehow whipped up in what, ten minutes? and leans back against the headboard as her eyes fall closed and she lets out a pleased hum. Damn, that’s delicious. 

 

“Good?” Chase asks, and she nods, offering him a bite.

 

“You want some?” He’s got a completely different meal on his plate, so he nods, leaning forward and taking a bite off the fork. 

 

Alex gags. “You guys get a free pass this one time, but if I ever see that shit again I’m putting neon slime in your pillows.”

 

“Ditto,” Victor says, and Nico nods in agreement.

 

“Aw, come on guys, you just hate love.” Molly says, and Nico screws up her face at her to show she disagrees.

 

“Okay, but you, specifically, are not allowed to say that.” Alex says, pointing at her with his fork. “You’re the greatest with girls. You’re like, a lesbian Chad, or some shit.” Gert snorts, which turns into an all out laugh, which turns into her absolutely fucking rolling.

 

“How do even-“ she interrupts herself with a laugh, then starts again. “How do even know what a Chad is?”

 

It is to be noted that everyone but Alex is losing their fucking minds right now, Molly included.

 

“What, just because I’m not totally up to date on pop culture doesn’t mean I don’t know about the Chad/Incel dichotomy and most of the memes that come with it. Come on, guys, I’m not that behind on the times.”

 

Okay, that is even funnier, but she needs to counter that with, “Hey, remember when we had to explain the ‘you know I had to do it to ‘em’ guy to you?”

 

“When will Lucky Luciano return from war?” Nico interjects wistfully.

 

“Okay, that was an outlier-“

 

“No it wasn’t.” Chase interrupts through a laugh, and Alex groans.

 

“Dude! Come on, man,  I thought you were on my side!” 

 

“Never!” False. Chase is as ride or die for Alex as he is for the rest of their family. They’re all pretty dedicated to The Family, which kind of makes them sound like the mafia, whoops, but Chase is definitely the most protective. Over-protective, some (everyone) might say.

 

“Okay, back on topic though, about that bookstore, do you think we could go see if we can find that book?” Victor asks calmly. He is definitely the most Adult out of all of them, but don’t let that fool you. Gert has seen his action figure collection, and it is vast.

 

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, and now that Gert’s awake we can probably look into the whole ‘Chase’s dad’ thing,” Chase flinches, and Gert wraps her hand around his. “But tomorrow, maybe. You and me head downtown, Chase and Alex the other thing-“

 

Nico is interrupted by the front door slamming shut, and a yell of, “Honey, I’m home! Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

 

~~~~~

 

Karolina has had a very, very, _very_ interesting day.

 

First, she woke up to a message from home saying, ‘hey, Gert died/got resurrected, get home ASAP’ and nothing else. Then, she had to get out of five different meetings, tell Xavin what happened,  make sure Xavin didn’t skip out on all _their_ meetings to accompany her back to Earth, pack her things, schedule a shuttle because there is no way in hell she’s ever flying herself home again, that burned her eyebrows off last time. The shuttle had barely passed into the atmosphere before she was jumping out and flying home on her own, zooming back to the house and barreling through the door, getting discovered as an alien be damned.

 

Nico comes running down the hallway and crashes into her with a bone crushing hug, Molly, Alex, Victor, and Chase not far behind.

 

“Okay, where’s Gert? You can’t just say my best friend died and not fucking elaborate, come on, you guys.” Karolina is completely squished right now, but she doesn't care. She missed her family so much, Christ, she's going to have to talk to Xavin about making those trips shorter or something, she can't handle the disconnection anymore.

 

"She's fine, mostly, got shot on a mission and died for two hours but she's back and that's what matters, can I have a kiss?" The words fly out of Nico in a rush, and even though the rest of them have separated she's still clinging to Karolina, an adoring look in her eyes.

 

She cups her face in her hands and presses her lips to Nico's, and god, she's missed her. Glad to be back, as the kids say.

 

Karolina pulls back with a dreamy sigh, then comes back to her senses. "So. Gert."

 

The only reason she's even pulling away at all is because her _friend_ got _shot,_ but Nico still looks vaguely disappointed. What is this, old news?

 

"You're just in time," Chase says. "She only just woke up!" Woah, really? That is perfect, this worked out great. Well, not great. Her friend got shot. But it is.......convenient? Is that the right word?

 

"Okay, well, lead the way? And will someone please tell me what happened?"

 

"Well, okay, so," Chase starts as the whole gaggle of them make their way down the hall, Nico clutching her hand, "we were on a mission? And, um, there was this guy. And Gert......got shot. Right here." He presses a hand to his chest, right where his heart would be. "She died." He's not looking at any of them, and his voice is a rasp. "And then............she was back. Don't know what happened. Um, she said she had a headache so you might wanna turn down the brightness, Karo."

 

Oh, right. She slaps her bracelet back on, then gently pushes the door open.

 

"Karolina? I thought you weren't going to be back until- _oof!"_ Karolina runs to her and wraps her arms around her, squeezing tight, but pulls back in a panic when she hears, "Ow, ow, ow, holy shit, let me go, fuck!"

 

~~~~~

 

Karolina steps back, eyes wide as saucers, and Chase rushes to his girlfriend, sitting down next to her carefully, and the moment he's close enough Gert presses her face into his chest and curls her fingers so tight into his shirt he's ninety percent sure the fabric is ripped. Old Lace curls her tail around her thigh, knowing any more would just put Gert in more pain.

 

She makes a pained noise, heartbreaking and awful to his ears, and he holds her close. Chase strokes her hair as she cries angry, agonized tears, rocking her back and forth gently.

 

"It's your back, right?" He asks, oh so quietly. Everyone else looks almost afraid to come near them, standing away but watching in apprehension and worry.

 

"Yeah," she says quietly, her voice a pained whine. "Chase, it _hurts._ It hurts so bad." He closes his eyes, pained. This is the worst. He hates seeing her like this, suffering with no immediate solution. All he has to offer is comfort, and there's no way that's enough.

 

But he can try.

 

"I know, baby, I know, I'm sorry, _shh_ ," he never, ever, ever calls her that, maybe a few times in bed, but literally not any other time. But she's in pain, and he can't help himself.

 

~~~~~

 

Gert presses her face deeper into his chest, feeling his heartbeat against her cheek. She tries to let the uniform _ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum_ steady her as much as it can, tries to focus on something other than this excruciating pain.

 

Her mind feels foggy, and her vision is fuzzy around the edges, but there is no way in hell she's going back to sleep. She's terrified that she won't wake up, if she does.

 

Because that's the big fear here, isn't it? That next time she goes to sleep, she's going to get sucked back into that hell that was hard enough to escape the first time. She doesn't know if she's strong enough to do it again.

 

After a few minutes, the pain fades, just enough that she can pull away and lean back against the ice pack without it feeling like she's getting murdered for the second time this week.

 

"Okay, um, I think I'm good now. So, Karo, how was Majesdane? Is Xav coming to visit?" Xavin is great, and it'd be cool to see them again.

 

Karolina clearly senses that all Gert wants to do is just move on from this, so she says, "Um, it was good. There were more than a few parties I had to go to, I'll show you the holos later. Xavin is probably gonna make their way here as soon as their meetings are done."

 

~~~~~

 

"Oh, that's nice. I miss Xav, it'll be good to see them again."

 

So this is how it's going to go, then. Gert is going to just pretend this isn't happening unless she can't handle it, isn't she?

 

Chase scooches to sit next to her on the bed, disregarding the little room that is there just so he can stay close to her. He doesn't want to leave her side ever again.

 

"So how was your flight back? Much turbulence?"

 

Alex's mouth twists. "Gert, are you really going to-"

 

"Yes. So, the flight?"  
  
It goes on like that until Molly says she has to go do homework, and Nico and Karolina split off to talk amongst themselves about what happened, and what they know so far. Alex lags behind, asking, "By the way, I know this is probably futile, but you know we're here if you want to talk to someone other than the boyfriend about this, right?"  
  
"Thanks, Alex."  
 

"Oh, you what I mean. It's harder, sometimes, to talk to someone who was there for the traumatic experience then someone who wasn't. Um, anyways," he pats Gert on the knee, then heads out the door.

 

Gert curls closer, wrapping a hand around his bicep and resting her head on his shoulder. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? I don't want to fall asleep."

 

"Are you sure? Maybe it'd be good to-"  
  
"Yes. I'm sure. What do you want to watch?”

 

Chase sighs. He just wishes she’d let herself get taken care of, let herself heal, instead of pretending that this isn’t happening. But if that’s what she wants, he’ll concede, for now.

 

“I dunno. How about one of those nineties movies you like so much?” 

 

“Oh, yeah, totally, how about Clueless? Austen retellings are always so good.” Chase reaches down to the floor where his laptop rests, turning it on and clicking open Netflix. 

 

“What about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?” Gert screws her face up at him, and Chase huffs a laugh, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

 

Gert’s eyes fall closed, and she wraps her arms around his shoulders, pressing her face into his neck. 

 

“I love you a lot, you know that, right?” Her voice is quiet and confessional, and he presses a hard kiss to her hair. 

 

“Of course, sweetheart. Of course.”

 

~~~~~

 

Chase falls asleep about halfway through the movie, and that’s fine. That’s okay. Gert’s totally not freaking out about being alone, or anything. 

 

But she’s not going to wake him up- she can’t. She knows that there’s no way he’s gotten a decent amount of sleep since what happened, so she’ll let him sleep. Even if being alone makes her feel even colder than before. 

 

She rubs her hands together, trying to create heat, then places her momentarily warm fingers over her ears, trying to stop them from freezing over. 

 

Gert wraps the blanket closer around her, but she still can’t get rid of the permanent chill that goes all the way down to her bones. It feels ingrained into her, with no way to get rid of it. 

 

 ~~~~~

 

Chase wakes up well-rested and happy. He's draped over Gert, his face pressed into her shoulder, and he feels more relaxed than he has since before......you know.

 

He yawns, snuggling closer. Gert isn't watching the movie anymore, but she's awake, staring a hole into the wall. "What's the time?"  
  
"Oh. You're awake. Um, it's around five, I think." She's absentmindedly petting his hair, but she hasn't looked away from the wall.

 

"You're gonna burn a hole into it if you stare any longer," he says, but Gert isn't paying attention.

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing, love. Do you want something to eat?" Chase sits up to look at her, but she still looks completely spaced.

 

"Sure, I guess." He stands, turning to go to the kitchen, but she grabs his hand. "Wait, no, don't……………….never mind. Sorry. Um. Sorry. I just. I- sorry."

 

Gert lets go of his hand and looks away, clearly uncomfortable, for some reason, and Chase turns back to her, kneeling down in front of the bed. He takes her hand again, fiddling with her fingers as she looks back at him. 

 

"You don't have to be sorry, Gert. What is it?" Wow, role reversal. Usually it's Gert telling him that- a habit of his leftover from seventeen years in an abusive household. And he can admit that now, fully- that his father abused him, that he is an irredeemable human being.

 

She hesitates, and he kisses the tips of her fingers lightly. Gert's eyes fall closed, and she says, pained, "I just….I don't want to be alone. I know that you'll be right back, I just- I don't-" she pauses, steadying herself. "You don't know what it was like, Chase. I felt more alone then I've ever felt in my entire life, and everything was so bizarre, there. Too bright and confusing and _wrong_." The words rush out of her like a waterfall, as if she can't bear to stop them. "And I kept slipping into different memories, and I couldn't get _out,_ I felt so _trapped,_ and I- I just don't-"  
  
In other circumstances, he would probably give her a hug right now, but she just looks so……fragile. And that’s _never_ a word he would use to describe Gert.

 

So he squeezes her hand, and asks first. “Do you want a hug?”

 

She hesitates, then nods, and Chase sits back on the bed to wrap his arms around her. He smoothed his hand over her hair, saying quietly, “You’re out now, okay? You got out, you’re here. Everything is going to be fine.”

 

Gert snorts. “You generalize too much.”

 

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your snark.” She laughs wetly, and he presses a kiss to her hair. “I love you,” he says softly.

 

“I love you too. Sorry for freaking out on you, I know it’s-“

 

“If you’re about to say ‘annoying’ right now, first of all, really? We’ve been through this. You’re never an annoyance, not to me. And second of all, you went through something awful. You’re allowed to talk about it without apologizing.”

 

She hums, calmer now as she presses her cheek against his chest. Is she listening to his heartbeat? “How’d I get lucky enough to have you?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing, honey.”

 

Gert laughs softly and looks up at him, then presses a kiss to his cheek. Her fingers move to his neck, and he flinches, just a little. Her hands are freezing.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize-“

 

“No, it’s fine.” He wraps his hands around hers, trying to heat them up. Seriously, why is she so cold? "Have you been this cold since you woke up?"

 

Gert's teeth chatter a little. "Yes."

 

He raises an eyebrow at her. "You could've, like, said something."

 

She mumbles something in response, but he can't hear her and indicates as such, so she repeats quietly, "I didn't want to be a bother."

 

He closes his eyes for a second to refrain from getting upset with her, because that's not fair and she doesn't deserve it, but also _why is she like this?_ Well, he knows the answer: anxiety, PTSD, and a boatload of trauma that she refuses to deal with or think about. Not that he can say much.

 

"Okay, so I'm going to let that slide this one time because you're hurt and I love you, but just know that you'd be in for it if this was a normal day." She giggles a little at that, and he continues, "Do you want to get in the bath?"

 

Chase rubs his hand up and down her back soothingly, and she says, head resting on his chest, "Only if you join me."

 

"That can be arranged."

 

"Oh, can it, now." Gert yawns, then says, "Would you carry me? I'm not sure if I can walk properly and don't really want to test it today." That makes sense. She shouldn't put strain on her body just yet, anyways.

 

He stands, then picks her up with little effort, walking them to the bathroom. They still have that old claw-foot tub they found years ago, and to be honest, Chase is planning to take it with them when they move into their own house. Gert has an attachment to it.

 

God, he can't wait to do all of that with her.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase sets her down on the weird futon-couch thingie that Nico moved into the bathroom when she decided she didn't want it in her and Karolina's room anymore, and she lies back, watching him turn on the tap.

 

"Do you want one of the bath bombs?" Oh god, the fucking bath bombs. Chase and Molly have a shared obsession. Chase makes a trip to Lush about once a month, and worse, he actually _enjoys_ talking to the employees. Gert loves her boyfriend, but sometimes.............

 

"Hmm, yeah, sure. How about, um, the blue one. It smells like lavender?" She'd put money on him knowing the real name for this bath bomb.

 

"You mean The Big Sleep?" _Ka-ching!_

 

"Yeah, that one."

 

"That's a good choice, the lavender is a calming agent, and it's super relaxing because it has all these essential oils in it. And I know you think this is a load of mumbo jumbo, but at least it smells good, right? Plus this one has camomile in it, and you drink that before bed sometimes." Only when he makes it for her- Gert is too impatient to wait for the kettle to boil.

 

"True, true. Hey, how long was I out again?" Alex told her, before, but she just can't remember what he said.

 

"About.....about five days, Gert." His voice goes quiet, pained.

 

"Damn, really? Wait, did I miss class? Oh my god, I'll die if I missed class." Oh, poor choice of words. She really has to make a joke out of everything, doesn't she? Her and Alex share this nasty coping mechanism, and it's always getting them into trouble.

 

Chase rest his hands on the edge of the tub, eyes closed. "Can you not, seriously. I get that you're trying to make this blow over, but it _won't_ and it's not _going to_." His voice is carefully calm. "And joking about it doesn't help, it just makes me upset, so-"

 

"Woah, hey, c'mere," she says comfortingly, making grabby-hands at him, and he comes to kneel at the side of the aforementioned futon-couch.

 

Gert sits up properly, her legs hanging off the edge and framing his sides. "I'm sorry I made you upset. And you're right- those jokes aren't appropriate." She wrinkles her nose at him. "I think it's just a dumb coping mechanism I have. But I still shouldn't be saying them, especially if they upset you- what?" Chase has this overly fond look on his face, and she just can't gather why. What did she say to warrant it?

 

"Nothing, I just love you. And I love us, you know? We're just.....good at communication, and I like that. Well, most of the time, but you know what I mean." Gert does. She so, so does. She loves every aspect of their relationship (and maybe that's sappy- but hey, she just got resurrected, so she's pretty sure she can say whatever the hell she wants, no consequences).

 

Gert cups his face, moving her thumb back and forth, starting to press little kisses all over his face, and he giggles a little. A kiss to his eyebrow, then his cheekbone, then his jawline, and as she presses a kiss to his nose, he says, "Oh my gosh, just kiss me already."

 

"Hmm, I dunno...." she teases, and he groans, so she laughs and kisses him softly. God, she missed him.

 

Gert pulls back after a while, resting her forehead against his. "I really did dream about you, you know."

 

"And you say you aren't romantic. What were they about?" Her eyes are closed as she tries to just drink him in.

 

"Just old memories. You remember that time in eighth grade when we made out on your rooftop?"

 

"Oh my god, you mean the best thing to ever happen to fourteen year old me? Yes, I remember." Gert pecks him on the lips, then pulls back, looking over his shoulder.

 

"Tub's full."

 

He waggles his eyebrows at her. "You ready to smell like lavender for the next three hours?"

 

"Sounds good to me," she says, and he snorts, then stands to turn off the water.

 

Chase grabs the bath bomb off the (specifically designated for this exact purpose) shelf and watches excitedly as he drops it into the water with a splash. It starts fizzing, and he gets this big smile on his face, like a kid in a candy store.

 

He's adorable.

 

"Once I get my nightshirt off will you help me over, please?" Chase can't hear her, intently watching the fizzing. "Chase."

 

"Hm?"  
 

"I said, once I get my nightshirt off, will you help me over, please." He nods, kind of coming back to himself, and she stands shakily, heavily leaning on the wall. She struggles with the buttons of the nightshirt, and he comes over to help her, unbuttoning them one by one until half the nightshirt is open. She lets the rest of it slip down her shoulders and says, "Thanks, baby."

 

Chase skims his hands over her bare shoulders. He is very resolutely keeping his eyes on hers. "No problem."

 

"You know, we are going to get married one day, I think you're allowed to look down," she teases, and Chase gets this shocked look on his face, like he can't believe Gert would want to marry him, which is just ridiculous, really. There's never going to be anyone else, for her. It just won't happen.

 

He walks her over to the tub, and she steps in carefully, sinking into the water. Oh, that's good. Chase can ramble about the healing properties of lavender all he wants, but nothing beats the original- just a regular old hot bath.

 

Chase strips and gets in, sitting on the other side of the tub. She takes his hand in hers and watches her fingers tangle and untangle with his as she fiddles with them. "Um, so, about that marriage thing. I heard you, while I was sleeping." His eyebrows go up, and he sucks in a breath. _Busted._ "And you're right, I don't really like talking about this stuff, because I'm a big old pessimist, but....." Gert looks up at him, meeting his eyes. "I do want to marry you. Not now, but......I do. So when you ask, or when I ask, or whatever ends up happening, we're clear on that, right? That we'd both say yes?"

 

He smiles, bright and beautiful. "Yes. Definitely, a hundred times yes."

 

~~~~~

 

Molly can’t sleep. She’s been tossing and turning since she turned the light off, and she’s halfway to just turning it back on and not sleeping tonight. She could do the required reading for class on Friday.

 

Or. Or she could go check on Gert. 

 

Molly knows her sister is probably asleep by now, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to go check on her. 

 

So she gets up, pulls on a hoodie because it’s freezing at night, and walks down the hall to the guest bedroom where Gert is still staying. Chase is back in their bedroom, not wanting to ‘be the one keeping her awake’, and Molly _really_ doesn’t want to read into what _that_ means. They wouldn’t be doing that anyways, right? Like, Gert just got _resurrected_ , and-

 

Okay, this is a gross as hell train of thought. 

 

She opens the door with a _creak,_ expecting to see her sister asleep in bed. Instead, she’s sprawled out on the floor with a blanket and a pillow, Old Lace curled up beside her. The lamp on her bedside table shines warmly over her purple hair. And worse, she’s still _awake._    

 

“Hey, Molls,” she says, voice a rasp as she closes up her book. “What’s up?”

 

“I was coming in to check on you, but, Gert, why are you awake? You should be _resting.”_

 

“And I am. I’m just not sleeping.” There’s something in her eyes that tells Molly it’s more than just regular insomnia, so Molly closes the door behind her and goes to sit next to her sister, leaning back against Old Lace.

 

“Why not, though? Don’t you think you need to sleep?” Molly’s fearing that her answer to that would be no. It seems to be what she wants to say.

 

“I…..I just….I’ve already slept for so long, you know? I feel like I’m full up on it.” She’s lying. Molly always knows when Gert is lying.

 

But she can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it. There’s this look on her face like she’s going to cry if she does. 

 

So Molly sighs and says, “Can I ask why you’re on the floor?”

 

“Oh, the bed is too soft. My back is still really bad.” Okay, that makes sense. Hypothetically. Molly has never had a back injury. Leg, arm, even her collarbone, once- but no back injury.

 

She scoots to curl up next to her, entwining their fingers as she rests her head on Gert's shoulder. "I'm glad you're back. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't.............." Burning the whole world to the ground was definitely her number one option, though. Followed by blowing up the planet.

 

"I'm glad I'm back too, Molls." Gert sighs, staring up at the ceiling, and Molly thinks that's all she's going to say until she whispers, "Hey, would you sing me that old lullaby of mine? It might help me get to sleep."

 

Oh, she doubts that. Gert looks like she'll probably never sleep again.

 

But that doesn't mean Molly's going to say no.

 

"Yeah, Gert." she says softly. "Of course." She clears her throat a little, then starts to sing, soft and quiet. _"Let's go to sleep, there is a dream we can share. Just you and me, in a floating sea, in the air. What's left below? We'll never know."_ Gert yawns, squeezing her fingers, and Molly continues. _"You are the moon, in a quiet night, terrified. Reach for the cloud, I will be around and by your side."_ Molly's voice gets quieter and quieter as she feels Gert falling asleep, breath slowing and eyes falling closed. _"What's left below? We'll never know. There's worlds to go."_

 

Molly presses a soft kiss to her sister's cheek, who is now almost fully asleep, thankfully. "Goodnight, Gert. Sleep well. Hey, do you think you’ll end up singing that to your kids? That’d be,” She pauses to yawn. “That’d be a nice legacy to have, wouldn’t it? A pretty lullaby?”

 

She falls asleep soon after, curled up with her miraculous sister- and that’s what she is, really. No one ordinary could meet Death and come out of it still breathing.

 

Molly wakes up the next morning to sunlight through the windows and Old Lace's tail on her face. She bats at it until it's away from her, then sits up, stretching her arms. Gert is still lying down but not asleep, just staring at the ceiling with a dazed look in her eyes. "Gert?"

 

She comes back to herself, meeting Molly's eye. "Oh, you're awake. Good morning."

 

Molly raises an eyebrow at her. "Good morning. You okay?"

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” But she still looks dazed.

 

“Do you want something to eat?” 

 

“Sure.”

 

~~~~~

 

_Hey, do you think you’ll end up singing that to your kids?_

 

Gert can’t stop thinking about what Molly said last night. _Children_. Now, that’s a concept. Sure, she’s thought about it before. A little baby with Chase’s dimples and her eyes, one who’s loud like her and smart like him. It’s a future she looks forward to.

 

But then, as Molly spoke last night, she had a thought. She just _died_. Would that…..would that affect anything? She’s terrified to think it might. It’s such an integral part of what she wants in her life with Chase, and now-

 

Okay. She’s got to stop. She has to put this away, for now- she’s so overwhelmed already, she just can’t think about this.

 

The door creaks open, and she sits up, assuming it’s Molly (it’s not).

 

“Hey,” Chase says, and she immediately thinks, _I hope he’s not upset with me._

 

Gert sent him away last night, even though she hadn’t wanted to. But it was so clear that he’d barely slept at all since what happened, and she would have just kept him awake. He argued and argued, but Gert won out. She wasn’t all too happy about it, though. 

 

“Good morning,” she says, and his face, once serious, cracks into a smile.   

 

He sits down next to Gert, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. “I came in here to be mad at you, I hope you know,” he says, still smiling, and she grins a little.

 

“Oh? What stopped you?” Gert curls closer, resting her head on his chest.

 

“I dunno, I think I just really can’t be angry with you anymore.”

 

She snorts. “Good for me, then.” 

 

“No, bad for the both of us, because next time you do something stupid I won’t be able to tell you off for it.” Uh, offensive! She has great ideas and never does anything idiotic!

 

Too much? Yeah, she thought so, too. 

 

Gert huffs a laugh. “I don’t think I’ll be getting into much trouble now, being on bedrest and all.” She groans a little as she moves her shoulder and gets a spike of pain in reward. “God, this sucks.”

 

“I know, sweetheart.” Chase rubs his hand up and down her side to comfort her. “Hey, did you sleep last night?”

 

“Yeah, but only once Molly came in. I was kind of just zoned before that- which is why I sent you to sleep in your own bed, by the way. I would’ve kept you up, and-“

 

“I wouldn’t have cared, like, at all. But I digress.” Gert smiles at him fondly. He sounds like her.

 

She presses her lips to his and kisses him softly, then pulls back. “I love you.”

 

Chase pulls her closer, burying his face in her hair and whispering, “I love you, too. I love you so much, you know that, right?”

 

His voice is a little wet, and she squeezes him tighter as she says, “Of course, Chase. Of course.”

 

"I wanted- um, I wanted to say thank you, I guess. For....saving me. Which I still don't think you should've done, by the way, but seeing as it's my fault it even happened in the first place....." He trails off, and Gert pulls back.

 

"Chase, please don't tell me you're blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault, honey." She caresses his cheek, and Chase closes his eyes.

 

"It was, though. It wouldn't even have happened if-"

 

"No. Stop. It wasn't your fault. That is not something I want you carrying on your shoulders, Chase." Gert uses her 'serious voice', and Chase pauses for a long moment, then nods.

 

"Is that an agreement, or are you just letting it go so I don't bother you about it?" He does that sometimes. It's annoying.

 

He sighs. "It's not me accepting it, not yet, but........it's a start."

 

~~~~~

 

It's been about three days since Gert woke up, and Chase has not left her side since that first night. He let her get away with it then, but not again, okay? He barely slept at all that night, he just couldn't handle it.

 

They sit together on the nearly flat foam mattress they’ve set up for her on the floor, Gert wrapped up in about five blankets as she works on a thing for the theatre while Old Lace idly nudges at her. He thinks it’s a pamphlet, maybe? Or a cast list? Either way, Gert refuses to just be doing nothing while she’s healing, so she emailed her boss for little stuff to work on until she can come back.

 

Honestly, though, Chase doesn’t know when that will be. Her back hasn’t been getting better, to the point where she can’t even get off the foam mattress without help. She tried to stand up yesterday, and the sound she made is still ringing in his ears. Penelope has set up an appointment for the weekend, but in the meantime Gert has been rolling around the house in Alex’s office chair. If the appointment doesn’t go well, it’s likely that they’ll have to look into a wheelchair until she gets better. Gert has been lobbying for crutches, but Chase doubts her being able to handle even that.

 

He’s never seen Gert so weak, so vulnerable………..It scares him, a little. 

 

Gert rubs at her temples, her eyebrows scrunched together in pain, and he puts a hand on her arm as he asks, “What’s wrong?”

 

“Headache,” Gert says, voice strained, her eyes squeezed shut as she curls into herself.

 

“Do you want an Advil-?” Chase asks, but she’s already nodding, so he reaches up, takes the pill bottle off the nightstand and unscrews it, shaking out a pill as she grabs her water bottle from where it’s stuck between the pillows. Once Gert realized he wasn’t going to let her sleep alone, they moved back to their room to have more space.

 

She pops the pill in her mouth and gulps down some water, then sticks the bottle back between the pillows. She wraps an arm around his bicep and presses her face into his shoulder and he holds her close as she sobs quietly from the pain. 

 

They stay like that for a while as Gert’s pain fades with the medication, but, as she often has these past few days, she falls asleep. 

 

She never sleeps at night. Chase tries his best to stay up with her each night, but he always falls asleep before her. She doesn’t even need lights on to see, now, so she stays up reading each night, and when he wakes up every morning she’s in almost the exact same position as when he fell asleep. 

 

But she’ll sleep during the day. Chase thinks it’s because she feels safer, that way. That day in the barn, it had been dark, after all. The sky had been overcast, so no sunshine had shown through the windows, just cold, weak, light.

 

Chase is so scared he’s going to lose her again. He doesn’t ever want to leave her side (which has been kind of annoying Gert, he thinks. But she hasn’t said anything, so he’s going to keep doing it while he can).

 

Chase is just about to fall asleep himself when the door to their bedroom bursts open.

 

“Gert! You are alright!” Xavin says, eyes wide as they scramble to the Gert’s side, poking at her repeatedly.

 

“Hey, Xav, how you-“

 

Xavin hurriedly presses a finger to Chase’s lips as they say, “Close thy mouth, giant.”

 

“Xav, you’re taller than I am-“

 

“Shhhhh!” Chase sighs. He loves Xav, but damn, are they dramatic.

 

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Gert asks groggily, rubbing her face against his shoulder. 

 

“I have arrived, Gertrude, and now you have to tell me everything that’s happened! Karolina only told me so much!” Gert sits up, leaning against him heavily.

 

“That’s because we- wait, they, I was asleep, only told _her_ so much. I only woke up a few days ago, you know, and it......happened.....a week ago. Apparently all these knuckleheads wrote was 'S.O.S. Gert just died'."

 

"You calling me a knucklehead?" Chase teases, and Gert laughs softly.

 

"Yes, absolutely," she says, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, and Chase's eyes fall closed, enjoying the moment.

 

"So?" Xavin says, and oh, yeah, other person here, whoops. "Please inform me of what happened to you, Gertrude." Xavin, barring Chase, sometimes, is the only one who calls her that. 

 

"Yeah, okay, so...." she goes into longwinded explanation that ends in, "And we're pretty sure that Chase's dad is relevant again, so we're gonna check that out, see if Old Lace can finally chomp the bastard's head off," Old Lace lifts her head from where she's curled up on the bed, which she claimed the first night she realized that Gert wouldn't be sleeping there. When they move back he's gonna have to wash those sheets a good few dozen times.

 

"I like that you say that like he's a character in a book, or something." It kind of makes him feel less threatening, which is nice.

 

"Well, from all the textbook villain traits he ticks off, he might as well be, right?"

 

“True, true, true.”

 

~~~~~

 

Gert is in the kitchen, struggling her way through making coffee to try and warm herself up. It’s a longer process than usual, seeing as the only way she can move around is through Alex’s wheelie chair. She looks stupid as hell, but it’s innovative, okay? And what is she supposed to do? Stay horizontal for the next few weeks?

 

 _Yes, definitely,_ says the voice of every one of her friends. But there’s no way she’s staying cooped up in her room when she could be, like, doing things.

 

Jesus, she cannot wait for that doctors appointment on Saturday. Penelope did her best to get an appointment as quickly as possible, and it really panned out. 

 

“So, I have just been given the regular life update from Chase, but I would like to ask- what is with this chair of yours?” Xavin asks as they walk into the kitchen.

 

Gert twirls the chair around to face them, saying, “Well, I really can’t stand up at all without feeling excruciating pain, so.”

 

“Ah.” They stand awkwardly, twiddling their thumbs until they say, “So, how was death?”

 

She snorts at the absurdity of the question, and also the bluntness of it. No one, not even Chase or Molly, has asked what it was like, in fear of upsetting her. It’s kind of why she likes Xavin. There is zero tolerance for bullshit or beating around the bush, with them.

 

Gert wrinkles her nose at them, then jokes, “Eh, you know, the usual. How was space?”

 

“Eh, you know, the usual.”

 

They both laugh, then share knowing smiles with each other. Xavin, though they seem upbeat, has gone through a lot. They understand, a little. Not the whole ‘resurrection’ thing, but….well, you know what she means. They once told her, voice hushed and melancholic, that as a child, they watched a planet explode right before their eyes.

 

 _"It weighs on you,"_ they'd said, _"seeing that kind of absolute destruction so young. It shaped who I am today, I think."_

 

Gert understands it better now than she did then. When something impacts you in that way.......there's really no forgetting it. You can't sweep it aside, because it stays with you. Always.

 

~~~~~ 

 

"Hey, guess what I got you?" Chase says, not even bothering with hello as he pushes the door open. They had been putting off looking into that book Nico was talking about, but Gert all but made Chase go today, dragging Nico along with him. He needed to get out of the house, she could tell. They still haven't looked into Chase's dad apparently being a threat again, though Gert thinks that's more due to Chase not wanting to acknowledge it at all, ever.

 

"What is it, babe?"

 

He kneels down next to her and presents a brown paper bag proudly. There's a sticker on the front that says it's from her absolute favourite bakery downtown, and she grins, brighter than she has in days. "Is that Boys and Berries? Is it a mini-pie? Tell me it's a mini-pie."

 

She's making grabby hands at the bag, and Chase hands it to her so she can open it greedily. MINI-PIE! TWO MINI-PIES!

 

"Actually, I got you two." Gert makes a happy little sound and pulls him in by the strings of his hoodie, kissing him soundly with a big old _mwah._

 

She pulls away, cheeks burning and a smile across her face as she says, "You're an angel, you know that? An actual, real life angel.” 

 

Gert takes the first one out of the bag and unwraps it carefully, then takes a big chomp. FUCK YES! _BLUEBERRY_ MINI-PIE!

 

She polishes off half of the first one before having the presence of mind to ask, “So, how’d it go?”

 

“Well, turns out we couldn’t even find the store, so I wouldn’t say great. We looked all over for it, searched every nook and cranny of that damn neighbourhood but……nothing. It's like it wasn't even there in the first place."

 

"Oohh, spooky."  
 

"No, come on, be serious," he says, distressed. "This was the one lead we had to figuring out what's happening to you, and now it's just gone up in a puff of smoke-"  
 

Gert puts her hand over his and squeezes. "Hey, it's gonna be fine."

 

"But it's _not."_

 

She scoots closer, looking him in the eye. "But it will be."

 

~~~~~

 

The doctor's appointment comes and goes, and all Gert really gets out of it is stronger pain meds and a wheelchair. It's good that she can around on her own now, but it also means she's insisting she go back to night school now, and like, begging to go back to work. 'Only part time', she'll say. 'No way in hell', Chase will reply. He has agreed to let her go back to school, though. It's always been pretty lax,  anyways, and they're pretty close to graduating now.

 

He's gotta be honest, though, graduation kind of cares him. Like, he's finally gonna have a high school diploma, but it also means he's starting university in the fall, which he doesn't know if he's looking forward to or not. Is he excited for new classes and experiences? Yes. Is he terrified of both of these things? Also yes.

 

But he's not going to think about that right now. What he is going to think about is how likely it is on a scale of one to ten that he's about to come face to face with his father.

 

They'd followed this lead only because Chase was tired of avoiding it, they'd looked into it and it was leading them right to this dumb penthouse apartment that is just like his father, really, and he'd prefer to go through this now then later.

 

So he, Old Lace, Nico and Karolina are standing outside of this fancy pants apartment building in the middle of the night, waiting for Chase to get the courage to go up there.

 

"We don't have to do this tonight, you know," Nico says, but he shakes his head, readjusting his Fistigons.

 

"Yes, we do. If we don't he could move again, and who says he's even here, anyways?" About every source they've accumulated, actually, but who says they're right?

 

"So are we going up now?" Karolina asks, hand on Old Lace's head, and Chase nods slowly.

 

"I guess we've got to, huh?"

 

So they make their way up eight flights of stairs all the way to the penthouse, and Chase blows out a breath before quietly knocking on the door.

 

No one answers.

 

He tries again, and this time when there's no response he tries the handle. It's unlocked. _This is a trap this is a trap this is a trap._

 

He holds his breath as he pushes the door open.

 

"I was wondering how long it would take you."

 

It's his father.

 

~~~~~

 

Ty Johnson just wishes he could have one normal day. He and Tandy have moved to New York to explore a new lead, and today was supposed to be about them moving in- and _just_ about them moving in.

 

But instead of stuffing their faces with the contents of the takeaway bag from Big Wong's, Ty is doubled over in pain, hands clutched to his chest as he feels the most evil soul he's ever encountered getting sucked into The Dark Place.

 

But the thing is, he hasn't just sent someone there. Like he said, he and Tandy are sitting on the couch about to eat dinner.

 

So if he didn't send someone there.....................who did?

 

~~~~~

 

Chase comes home sobbing.

 

Her, Molly and Alex are shacked up in the living room watching _Pride and Prejudice_ when the three of them and Old Lace walk through the door. The injuries look more emotional than physical, thankfully, but Chase looks absolutely heartbroken.

 

He stumbles his way to her side, flopping down on the couch and curling up against her as he cries into her shoulder. Gert holds him, rubbing her hand up and down his back as she looks to Nico, asking silently, _what happened?_

 

She taps the butt of her staff on the floor, and words appear in the air. _We found his father. We stopped him from hurting more people. That's what's important._

 

Gert gives her a look. That wasn't what she was asking.

 

Nico sighs, and more words appear. _He isn't dead. But he is gone- Victor Stein will never bother us again._

 

Gert rolls her eyes at how cryptic she's being, then goes back to comforting her boyfriend.

 

"It was awful," he murmurs, "just absolutely awful."

 

~~~~~

 

Molly is sitting at the kitchen counter, lights turned off as she tries to refocus and gather her thoughts from the day. She does this sometimes, when things get too overwhelming and her bedroom feels suffocating.

 

She's going over what Millie and Mateo's argument today, trying to find a way to resolve the conflict as she often does- the three of them are thick as thieves, but even they are prone to arguments now and then- when she hears something rolling down the hall.

 

She's expecting whoever it is to turn on the light, but they don't. "Molly? What are you doing up?"  
 

"Gert? How are you........." _how are you seeing me?_ It's pitch dark in the kitchen, there's no way she should be able to.

 

"Oh. Right." Gert's outline- because that's all Molly can see- turns the wheels to face her, coming up to the other side of the counter. This counter has always been kind of low, making it easier for Gert to sit in her wheelchair and actually do things there. But when she lifts her head, her eyes are visible, glowing like two tiny balls of starlight.

 

"Woah," she says, breathless, and Gert huffs a sad little laugh that makes her heart ache.

 

"This is one of the 'side effects', apparently. Penelope called it tepetum something or other. Makes my eyes glow when reflected with the light. Creepy, huh?"

 

Molly touches her sister's face. "No, not creepy." She closes her eyes, and when she opens them they're glowing. "You're just like me now."

 

Gert blinks, and Molly feels a tear slide down to her hand, still cupping Gert's face.

 

"Hey, don't cry, it's okay," she says comfortingly, and Gert sniffles.

 

"It's not, though, it's not okay, I just _died,_ and now Chase is _so upset_ over his father, it took me forever to get him to sleep, and now I'm going back to school, and I'm in a wheelchair because I can't walk without feeling excruciating pain, nothing is _okay_."

 

Suddenly, the room gets very cold. Ice cold, so cold that Molly wishes she was wearing a sweater. She blows out a breath experimentally, and even in the dark she can see it crystallizing.

 

She gets up and flicks on the light to see what might be causing this, and sees ice spreading from where Gert's hands rest on the counter. What the fuck?

 

"Gert," she says shakily, "Gert, take a deep breath, steady yourself."  
 

"I-I can't, I don't-" the ice spreads faster.

 

Molly takes her sister by the shoulders, looking her in the eye. "Gert. Take a deep breath in," she says, and Gert follows her instructions, "now let it out. Good girl. Now, again." She helps her sister down from the panic attack, and the ice slowly creeps back where it came from. Okay, that was weird.

 

"Gert?" she asks quietly, and her sister meets her eyes. "Do you know what happened just then?"

 

"I think.........I think it was another side effect."

 

~~~~~

 

"So what you're saying is..........I was right when I called you Danny Phantom."

 

"Fuck off, Alex, can't you take anything seriously?"

 

He and Gert are in the kitchen, stumbling their way through breakfast while he puts off going to work and she waits for Chase to wake up.

 

"No, I can't actually, it's in my blood."

 

She takes a sip of her coffee. "So you were just born goofy, huh?"

 

"Yes, definitely," he says, and they both laugh a little at that. It's too early in the morning to be screeching with laughter, anyways. Gert isn't even out of her pyjamas yet- not that he's seen her out of her pyjamas in days.

 

Chase stumbles into the kitchen, saying, "Hey, man," to Alex as he pours some cereal for himself. Does he not see Gert, or something?

 

"Good morning, babe," Gert says, a little peeved.

 

Chase jumps.

 

Alex and Gert share a look. What the hell?

 

Chase turns to look at her, clearly just noticing she's in the room, and says, "Good morning. Sorry, I didn't see you there."  
 

"You walked right past me, though. Like, _right_ past me."

 

 _"Danny Phantom,"_ Alex singsongs without much thought, and Gert glares at him. "No, but seriously, though. This could be another side effect, like last night- now that you're back on your feet, maybe things are more........obvious?"

 

Gert and Case both have their respective thinking faces on once he says that, and he takes one last sip of his coffee. "Well, while y'all stew on that, I have to get to work. Laters."

 

~~~~~

 

Chase stares after Alex's back as he leaves, then asks, "What happened last night?"

 

"Oh, I was freaking out, just got really overwhelmed, you know, and the room suddenly got freaking freezing. It was weird. Molly calmed me down, though, don't worry."

 

Chase pulls up a chair to sit next to her in the middle of the kitchen, holding  her wrist instead of her hand, just to feel her heart beat against his fingers. Her skin is as cold as it’s been every day since she woke up. Chase always has an urge to blow on her hands, or something. They feel as though they’re made of ice.  "You wanna talk about it?"

 

She leans her head on his shoulder. "Well, you know, there's everything going on right now, and then when you came home last night............it was hard to watch. Speaking of.....how you feeling?"

 

He squeezes her hand. "Better, I think. I just felt really overwhelmed, you know? Seeing him again, and then seeing him just pop out of existence like that................it was awful. And not even knowing where he went, just knowing that he's gone, for good, I kind of felt guilty at how relieved I felt. Still do, I guess."

 

Gert brings his hand to her lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles, and they sit in comfortable silence as they eat their breakfast. It makes Chase think of how many times they will do this throughout their lives, and suddenly he feels full to the bursting with happiness. They're going to have a life together, with children and a house and a dog, maybe, if they can convince Old Lace not to eat it. In those moments after her death, he thought he would never get this. He thought he'd been robbed of their life together.

 

Chase has never been so glad to be wrong.

 

~~~~~

 

Resurrection is a strange thing. Barring, say, Jesus, there are no test cases to go off of, nothing to base your experiences off another’s. So Gert isn’t sure if it’s normal- well, nothing is normal, now. But she’s not sure if it’s.......non life threatening- her life or someone else’s- that her eyes could be compared to a deer’s now, or that she can apparently get imprints of people's _dead loved ones_ , or that the room drops a few degrees in temperature when she’s upset, or that, unless she announces herself, no one notices she’s in the room. And when they do notice......they jump. Or gasp. Or some other reaction in appropriate to noticing someone _already in the room._ It’s making her feel a bit invisible, honestly. 

 

It’s her first time going back to work, and she’s wheeling herself across the parking lot. She insisted that she could do this herself, but she’s pretty sure she saw Chase cruising around the area in the van earlier. It’s a nice, sunny day out, and all that can be heard is insects buzzing around and cars zooming past somewhere nearby. There’s a woman walking in the same direction as her, only ten feet away. She’s staring down at her phone- but then she looks up.  

 

She spots Gert.......and jumps.

 

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Phoebe Bridgers song, Funeral. thanks for reading!


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